Karma Sucks!

[INeedHelpFast]

So I broke up with my ex of 3 years, we were on and off for the same reason (her wanting to keep contact with a guy that was interested in her) , which made me uncomfortable.

 

I would usually "crawl" back to her because I loved her, but this past time, I held my NC for 6 weeks. One day I prayed and said to myself "I hope karma catches up to her for how she hurt me" , and then the next day, she is involved in a horrible car accident. She came out fine, but her passengers are fighting for their lives. I still care about her so I called her and left a voicemail saying I hoped everything was okay and to call me if she needed anything. I got a text message later saying "im okay thanks for asking" , so the conversation went on, and I asked her if she had time to talk to me. I was hoping to talk to her about why exactly I broke up with her so that she wouldn't act bitter towards me and hate me for the rest of her life. She would exchange text messages pretty quickly, but she said "it is what it is" and "there is nothing to talk about, i already got my closure." She claimed that I only called her because she nearly died in the accident.

 

I can't help but to feel horrible. Sometimes I want her back, but then again I'm too hurt to be with her. What do I do? My heart and mind are mixed. I'm still in love with her after being hurt so much.

[dimnickel1980]

it sounds like you did the right thing. you should never be competing for attention when you're in a relationship with someone.

 

give it time to really look at the relationship and be NC.

 

Don't worry about the karma thing.. it's perfectly normal to be angry after a breakup.. your anger didn't have anything to do with a car accident

[INeedHelpFast]

the thing is, when I broke up with her, I was angry about something that happened between the two (she went to dinner with the guy only a few days after we broke up), so I told her to stay the hell out of my life. Then she got into an accident and I called her and she claims that I only did that because she was at a near death experience.. I dont get it, shouldnt that just show that I cared?

 

Nevertheless, I find myself stuck. I love her but in my head I know I can do better if she doesn't find it in her heart the admit her mistakes and realize what she did wrong. Is this what the NC is for? I tried talking to her saying I needed my closure, but she said that she already got hers so it didnt matter. What is that supposed to mean??

 

How can I make this all go away. I don't want to think about her or our past, I just want it to all go away, but sometimes I want it back. In a way I want to make her realize all the stuff she did, but I want her to realize it on her own, and I have no control over that.

[getting_on_ok]

Hey man I feel you. I actually have been praying for that as well. I wanted her to feel the pain that I was feeling. And I wish I would of ended. I saw the warning signs at the beginning of the relationship. She would stare at other men right in front of me. she continued to do it even after I told her it hurt me. And of course I didn't go about it the right way. I would break up with her and then come crawling back. Finally she broke up with me. And it hurt so bad. When I was trying to make it work. Now all I can think about is her with another man!! Its killing me inside.

[INeedHelpFast]

Hey man I feel you. I actually have been praying for that as well. I wanted her to feel the pain that I was feeling. And I wish I would of ended. I saw the warning signs at the beginning of the relationship. She would stare at other men right in front of me. she continued to do it even after I told her it hurt me. And of course I didn't go about it the right way. I would break up with her and then come crawling back. Finally she broke up with me. And it hurt so bad. When I was trying to make it work. Now all I can think about is her with another man!! Its killing me inside.

 

If you know you have more to offer than the other guy, she will come crawling back once she realizes what a loser he is. But at that point, you should have moved on to the point where you can reject her and say no. Just go NC, im assuming you have?

[getting_on_ok]

Yea, I've been doing if for about 2 months. I think that she is seeing someone else. And it kills my heart, but what am I going to do. It really is her loss, I just want her to come back one day and say hey I messed up.

[INeedHelpFast]

Yea, I've been doing if for about 2 months. I think that she is seeing someone else. And it kills my heart, but what am I going to do. It really is her loss, I just want her to come back one day and say hey I messed up.

 

 

As hard as it may be, have you thought about the other possibility? That she may not? I'm kinda going through the same thing. One minute I want her to come back and apologize, and the next minute I want nothing to do with her, but I still miss her presence. I'm trying to slowly convince myself that I can't help her realize her mistakes, and that she has to realize it on her own. Is the other guy in your case a rebound?

[getting_on_ok]

Well yea it would be a rebound, unless she was seeing him while we were going out. She's a good girl, however, she did not treat me good at all. She wanted to stare at other dudes right in front of me. How is that cool at all. And there were other things such as confining in a 48 year old man that lives with his parents and beats women. I recently heard that she missed me and really loved me and wanted to call me. However i think this guy told her to do otherwise. Then I hear she went to Vegas with all of these douch bags. Do I miss her, yes, do i miss feeling insecure and second best, hell no. Do I miss not wanting to take her out because she's staring at other men.... another hell no.