How do I get out of this slump I am in?!?

[MrAdversity]

Hopefully this is in the right spot on the boards as I am the new guy and did not know where to place this one!

 

Here goes, I recently moved in with my GF of 2yrs and since we have moved in together I can't help to notice that I have changed somewhat and people around me have noticed too! Now most would probably say after reading just that this should be moved into relationships but it may not be all about her...

 

The backlog, I have always been concerned with my exterior (I used to be a gym goer 4 days a week in my prime) and used to be very beefy looking close to 190lbs ripped up but that was well over 4yrs ago and way before the girl i am living with ... what does this have to do with the above well let me explain,

 

February we moved in together was also the month I got pretty sick, the flu and a major sinus infection right after. Of course on the meds I lost weight, now from the 4yrs i was with the ex to the current girl I lost and gained lost and gained but never got back to that beefed up look. Currently i actually look like i was when i was 18 versus the above which is one of the issues i am having. You see since i dropped the weight and now am probably the skinnier guy out of the bunch with all my friends and family i don't want to be around anyone.

 

The problem, well since we moved in I have lost weight due to illness but prob also to stress with money concerns or maybe what people think concerns, I have had a bad attitute written all over my face according to others, sex drive isn't as high anymore, overall happiness is lacking as is energy to motivate. Whats weird is that this was not the case a month before the big move. I was heavier, happier and less thoughtful of what people think.

 

Why do I care what people think well thats the last concern is that i have friends who see me when they see me usually few and far between and the first things out of there mouth is wow you lost weight, and with my groups of friends thats the last thing you want to hear, makes me feel very low and less manlike.

 

I could go on and on but i think i made my point now dont jump the gun and say well its your gf because i dont think its that, we don't fight, we are always on the same page and she supports just about everything I do (so opposite from the ex) ... but if its not her why within a month did everything change? The move? The routine of no responsibilty to full responsibility in such a short time frame? The lack of outside the new place activities (we used to only see eachother on the weekends and squeezed every plan we could do together in that time frame) now we just come home make dinner and go to bed ...

 

We are taking a mental vacation next week together for 2 days in the country to get away so hopefully that will help! All i want is to be happy again, laugh more, feel less anxious

[Xetra Dax]

The problem is that you are looking for exterior solutions for interior problems. You must bring the power of your life back where it belongs, namely in YOUR hands, otherwhise you just become an emotional soccerball for others to play with.

 

You see, the physical world is just crude chaotical material, and we apply our intangible thoughts onto our physical bodies to order the world in a way that we see fit.

 

Thoughts translated to-> the useage of Medium -> the change of the physical world.

 

For instance, you can't write on paper with your thoughts, you have to use the means(medium) of a pen to translate to write physically on the paper.

 

So its all about creating ORDER in CHAOS, meaning you have to order things 'inward as well as externally', this goes for your finances as well as for your household, as well as for your physical body, its all pure maintanance.

 

So the best thing you can do is just get the weightlifting equipment into the house, and organise your life so that you have time to train home, while not neglecting your lady.

 

The keyword = balance.

 

You know , i did the same thing move in and all with my gf, and what happens is that you stop thinking for yourself in the sense that you think for ourselves (you and your gf) ,meaning you have to think about more things, and this brings more problems.

 

But in overal its all about managment, and i have to admit, sometimes it looks asif its like balancing on a thin wire, but this is what you have to become good at. Balancing your finances, your relationship, its all about giving out sacrifices along with appropriate portions of time to fight off neglect. Please keep everything intact by giving away enough attention to each and every aspect of your life so that a balanced picture will be established.

[MrAdversity]

Thanks for the response and pointing me in the right direction. I agree it does have to do with balance. One of the problems though about that is I turned into somewhat of a negative person in the meantime about myself. So I guess you hit it on the head when you said that my problems are starting on the inside. You see and its funny you said bring the weights into the home. I do, I have been trying harder lately to get back on that horse but since I lost the weight i feel as if i am on a losing battle....

 

Now I know people would prob. love to be in my position thin, high metabolism and can eat anything without gain but thats my nightmare. Its been with my my entire life and the only way i got up so high to the number i see is normal was to be working in a job where i barely moved (desk job) and eat basically horrbile all day & night long ... Thats how it actually happened in the past, which also brings up the point maybe i am living in the past with myself and can't free my thoughts of how i should look.

 

I think when you sum it up my interior is crying out to look like i used to because i feel as if people liked me, gave me more respect back than. I am thus shut down to most except my GF who thankfully doesnt care if i am huge or thin but she really is the only one who doesn't have one of those comments. As I said earlier though my whole life has been gain 2 lose 5 especially in the summers.

 

Finances are tough when your in your own place as i won't sit and say the opposite and the daily grind can be very routine and that also takes a toll if you dont stray away every once in awhile but than add in my issues and you got depression in a sense. I have to learn to be happy with myself but with others comments its 2 steps forwards 3 steps back ...

 

At this point i am avoiding the people who comment on my appearance because it brings me down further and why that has to the focus when you see someone is beyond me, and i have never been the type of person to see a friend and say wow you put on alot of weight huh ....

 

Being positive, loving myself for who I am not what i look like, avoiding the posionous people that bring me down, laughing more (they say 7x a day in most books) and having fun with life is where I should be at ...

[metwo]

it maybe because you moved in together.. you haven't been able to adjust... your obviously not happy.. its definitely affecting your mental... do some real thinking about what you feel you really want out of life right now.. it will help you figure out a solution...