NC Extends to Family?

[Beaver]

My ex and I broke up in late May. I went NC to allow myself to heal/move on. Her mother has called me three times now since then. The first time I answered and she asked me about some furniture her daughter wanted to give me. I said no thanks and ended the conversation and was very respectful. The last two times I missed the calls bu did not return them. Her messages are always very vague - call me back when your free - with no details. I have hesitated to call because I dont want her to try to discuss anything with me about her daughter. But I feel disrespectful for not returning her calls.

 

What should I do?

[Beaver]

well then . . .

[Effervescent]

I would love to answer your question, but I'm in the same predicament. My ex's mother e-mailed me last week asking to meet with me last weekend, but I told her I was busy. Since then, she keeps e-mailing me asking when I am free, so she can drive two-hours to come see me . . . I've been ignoring her e-mails. However, she called me yesterday and left a message on my machine. Her son and I have been broken up since May. I'm pretty sure she wants to see me to discuss her son, but it's not something I feel like I can do right now. I'm in the same boat as you. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm leaning towards biting the bullet and meeting with her, because her constant pestering is driving me nuts.

[JonasWaingaro]

I can't really answer as I'm not in your position. However I have been considering contacting my GF's family. To get perspective from her mom, who likes me a lot. So I'm in the opposite place.

 

I agree it is kind of disrespectful to ignore the calls. You could always leave her message saying you can't discuss her daughter but are open to talking otherwise. Unless you really don't want to talk to her at all. If that's the case just tell her that, and why. Honesty is the best policy as always.

[rikka]

I think you should return her phone calls. I can't imagine they are anything legit, but it is rude to not. If she brings up her daughter, just politely (but firmly) say you don't want to talk about her. I also agree that honesty is the best policy, if you don't want to talk to her at all, just tell her that. I don't see that there is any reason for you to stay in touch with her mother, so if she just wants to "chat" it is probably best to end contact.

[Thornbirds18]

I agree with other posters - honesty is the key. If you don't feel comfortable just tell her. I told my ex's Mom that we can stay friends as long as she doesn't mention a word about him and his new found love. But it's somewhat awkward for us (me and his Mom) to communicate with each other because our breakup was in very bad term.