Multiple Personalities?!

[Generic User Name]

I believe that I have multiple personalities and it's driving me nuts to the point where now I simply hate talking with new people.

 

First of all, I'm very introverted and so majority of my conversations happen online. I'm on many social networking and dating sites and I would love to meet new people. But unfortunately, most of the time, I can't. I talk in a different manner with every single person I know or would like to get to know. It almost seems like a random draw of luck, as to how I approach talking with them. I make a quick assumption of the person and decide how I should talk from that point on.

 

I'm very friendly, but boring and predictable OR I'm a complete a-hole, but actually interesting and funny. I make dorky jokes that make me feel like an idiot (but make the other person laugh) OR I make offensive or very sarcastic remarks constantly that actually would make ME laugh at the very least. I say what's on my mind OR What they would like to hear, so as to not offend them. I defend my hobbies and my choices OR "It really sucks, but for some reason I like it". I'm proud of my achievements OR down play everything as "Meh, it was no effort". I mix and match these attributes, so it's not just two personalities.

 

When I was younger, I didn't care about how people felt or how they would react to me. As soon as I entered a serious relationship, I changed. I feel the most alive and confident when I'm being an "interesting a-hole", but I can't pull it off anymore, unless I'm talking with my best friends or someone new and they offend me or if they start annoying me and I want them to go away. But if I want to get to know someone and just being friendly? They stop talking with me as I bore them to death. Funny how that works.

 

It's like I'm flipping and flopping between completely different personalities, so I could 'appeal' to everyone. But that does not appeal to me or to others, usually. At all. I have lasted two years so far, but I don't think I can take this mentally much longer.

[maroose]

Everyone does what you are describing to an extent. Like when someone goes for a job interview, they don't act the same way as they would whilst hanging with their mates.

 

Maybe take a step back and think about:

 

1. How you think you are perceived by others

2. How you would like to be perceived by others

3. Aspects of your personality you like

4. Aspects of your personality you don't like

 

Maybe thinking about those things will help you figure out the type of person you actually are. Think about the good things about yourself and try to use those good traits to the best of your ability. For example, if you think you are good at listening to people's problems and offering advice, try to do just that. When you are in the moment, think about how you feel when listening to people and how it makes you react...

 

Hope everything works out.

[Generic User Name]

I know and I wouldn't mind that. It's just that I even treat those who around my age differently, for no real reason.

 

You're right, I need to think about those four things. I know I don't like how I am perceived by most nowadays and there are personality traits I have and I hate. I don't even like doing them, but sometimes I feel like I need to, in order to be sociable, friendly, or whatever.

 

Thank you.