I'm so confused...

[confused42]

It's somewhat of a long story, but please someone tell me I'm not alone on this... I really need a point of direction. I'm confused, unable to sleep, depressed, lonely, and somewhat self-destructive at the moment.

 

I'm 17, male. This girl that I am into right now, a lot, invited me to go on vacation with her and some friends. She's 18, turning 19. She's already told me she's interested in me, so I thought we were probably going to hook up. We'll call her M. We were going to stay at this place with a beach, boardwalk, amusement park, it sounded like a lot of fun. It turned out that only one of M's friends could come, so I asked if I could take one of my friends so we'd have more people. She said sure and that was it, we left on Friday. I was really excited to go and be with her.

 

It didn't start off too well, they got to the bus terminal late and we missed the bus. They never booked a hotel room (to my surprise), and the whole thing began to feel no too well planned...I ended up throwing down 150 bucks for a hotel room because they didn't have enough cash, and really just fixing a lot of stuff they never bothered to consider. That got me a little mad, but I still was focused on having a good time.

 

My friend couldn't get there until the next day, so it was just me and these two girls. M and her friend.

 

That night after some exploring the area, partying, and going swimming, I was in one bed and they were in the other bed in the hotel room. This made me feel pretty lonely, so I asked if I could join them. M said yes. I hopped into bed and well-- heh, I love cuddling... We started to cuddle. And feel up against each other. But after a few minutes, she said "Can you please stop that? That reminds me of [EX], he used to do that same thing." So I figured that this meant "do anything but that." So I kept cuddling, and she kind of cuddled back. But after a while she stopped. I got upset, asked if she was still awake, this went on and off for a while and finally she told me she didn't have enough room and asked me to go back to my bed.

 

I was really mad now. I jumped back into my bed and said "Fine. Whatever."

 

I woke up the next morning when my friend called to tell us he was on his way. Only I didn't move when I woke up, so they didn't know I was up. After he hung up, I was trying to fall back asleep when I overheard M and her friend talking. M said "We gotta hook up with some guys today" and her friend replied "Of course. That's why we're here."

 

I thought she was there to be with me. To have fun with me. This really hurt to hear. Then it got worse.

 

Her friend said "What about [my name]?" and she replied "What about him? I'm not hooking up with him. We're bringing guys back to the hotel."

 

Fast forward... My friend gets there. We go to the amusement park, have fun, get back, and of course they found guys to invite back.

 

I'm furious. I don't know what to do, so I pack my stuff and just leave. Nobody asks me if I'm okay or where I'm going, even my friend just kind of looks at me like "what the hell?" but doesn't say anything. I had my dad pick me up. He drove 3 hours. I couldn't go back to the hotel room. I felt sick to my stomach.

 

I talk to my friend later and he tells me what happened. She never hooked up with any guys, but she thought I was a total * * * * * * * for leaving like that and she wanted nothing to do with me anymore. I haven't spoken to her since. They had a long talk about me, apparently, and she explained to my friend that she's into me, but that's not the reason she brought me with them. The whole idea, apparently, was to get an escape, hook up with a bunch of random guys, and go back home. She didn't get why I was so special, why I would expect to be so "exclusive" to her.

 

I don't even know how to react to this. What the hell? She KNEW I was into her, she knew my intentions, I made them very clear! She AGREED to go along with it, she said she wanted that too.

 

Now I ruined my friendship with her, and I found out that after I left, they didn't really care. They still had fun. And after they got back, my friend and M hung out at her house for a little bit.

 

WHAT?!

 

So now they're great friends, probably going to hook up, and I'm totally out of the picture. My so-called friend said I'm acting like an * * * * * * * and he isn't surprised shes doing this. I told him "fine, if you like her so much go * * * * her! I'm sick of this!" and he said "fine man, maybe I will. You're being an insecure little * * * * * ."

 

So I guess I lost 2 friends.

 

What the hell....?

[strategos]

Her being interested in you doesn't mean that she wants to be with you exclusively. There's a big difference between the two. Until you are exclusive she technically can go out and see other guys. You read too much into her "interest". Not only that, you basically jumped the gun. She allowed you to cuddle and instead of doing that, you made her uncomfortable to the point that she basically forced you off the bed. You two were not really anything as of that point, but you tried to make something out of it.

 

On the other hand, she should not have gone with you if she was going to hook up with other people (if she knew that you were interested). That's just plain rude. Also, if she was "interested", she would think of things to do with you, not with other guys. If she was "interested" in you, it was more to string you along rather than genuinely be with you.

 

You also do have to remember that you're 17 and she's 19. With her being older, you are at a disadvantage. Since she had decided to do her own thing, you should have done so too. If she wanted to bring guys, you could bring girls you met too. By your walking out, you "overplayed your hand" and let it be known that you were into her - more than she was into you.

 

Even if she's interested, she's confused. You don't need to deal with this. If I were you, I would cut my losses and move on.