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it really has to be me or him?


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this situation is devastating me. i don't know what the right thing to do is...

 

i'm a college student and i had a very stressful year at school. then, my boyfriend breaks up with me this summer and i decide to go stay with my mom for a month--who i see maybe three days out of each year. she lives with her boyfriend who i don't really know at all.

 

after staying here less than a week, my mother and i have a brief argument that turns into a three hour talk. i say some things that have needed to be said for a long time and i feel better afterward.

 

the next day, it turns out that her boyfriend is pissed at me because i was so "disrespectful" to her and him (during the two minutes of raised voices that eventually lead to a little breakthrough). and has decided to hate me forever. that's it. no going back. he refuses to say two words to me.

 

my mom doesn't know what to do. she has cried for the last four days straight. she told him that this probably means the end of their relationship. but, as he keeps refusing to consider rethinking this insane decision, she has become more and more afraid that they actually will split.

 

anyway, now i'm stuck in this tiny house with this man who i barely know who hates me. i think that he should leave because he is causing this problem (as i would of course be willing to make things better for the sake of my mother)... but my mom is so unhappy and i feel like she secretly wishes that i would just go away. should i just leave, even though i know that my relationship with my mom will never be the same, so that she can be happy again? keep in mind also that i don't actually have anywhere else to go. i would have to ask friends from school or something only to be burden for someone else.

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Just stay put because it's only temporary anyway. Your finances are important too and you were allowed this privilege of staying at your mom's.

 

If she had an issue with it, she could have warned you in advance so you could reasonably arrange other accomodations.

 

The boyfriend is just exhibiting the human nature of claiming territory. The fight with your mom is just an excuse for him to do this natural thing.

 

But the confusing part to everyone is that its really not his 'territory' deed or leasewise is it?

 

Emotionally and properly it is more your territory than his, and he must feel threatened.

 

If he really doesn't want the confusion, he has the option to marry your mom which would put him in a better position to claim territory.

 

It really sounds like you'd be doing your mom a favor if you stuck around with the best attitude you can muster.

 

If he can't deal with you at all. He really should leave because you are an inseverable part of the package.

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