Have you ever felt "Underappericated" ?

[almostgolden]

I love my friends. I'd go out of my way to make a friend happy. Doing the little things like emailing, writing letters & calling them often. But, i feel like its one sided, that i always go out of my way to contact them but it just seems like i get so little back.

Have you ever had or love a friend so much that you would do anything for them? Miss them so much that you cry? & even when you do NC for a while it just seems not to work as much as you would want it to.

I have & its killing me.

I just dont feel like they appericate me like they should kinda like i am taken for granted.

Anyone ever felt this way? I need to be cheered up & not worry so much.

Sorry, i just had to vent.

[WhiteIcE]

I think what you're doing for your friends is great. I am sorry however that you are not receiving the right affection back. There is not really any way to get it, you can't really earn it. All personalities are different. Some people, like yourself, are passionate and enjoy the company of their friends. Some however, go with the flow, and take the best offer.

 

If your friends are respecting you back, trying to make you feel special, go out and meet some new people. Are tell your friends how you feel.

 

If you meet new people, you expand your range of friends greatly, and you get to try new things. You will even find some people who adore you, and you will very likely make many best friends.

[abcd1234]

Friendship is a 2-way thing, each person gives and takes, but it has to be equal. If one person doesnt give anything back to the friendship then it can fall apart easily.

It sounds like you are making a big effort to keep the frinedship together and this is both good and bad, it shows that you want to remain frineds but it also makes then think that you dont mind it being one-sided.

 

You have to let your friends know that you arent a person that can be walked all over and taken for granted. I cant really give much advice on how to do this but i agree with White[icE] that you should go out and make more friends.

 

abcd1234

[almostgolden]

Im missing a friend right now. Today's been 2 weeks since i heard anything from him. I just hope he doesnt forget me. I sent a holiday card which i hope he gets soon & tells me.

all i can do is wait. I dont wanna email or anything right now cos i feel like i already sent a card & doing anything else would be just doing too much.

 

Thanks, ur right i do need some new friends!

[almostgolden]

The problem i have is that i keep wanting to try. I never give up

[abcd1234]

Well determination is a great quaity for a person to have, but in this situation it may be hindering you more than helping you. It shouldnt be a case of not giving up, it should be not trying so hard.

[almostgolden]

Thanks, its going to be hard tho to not try as hard. But I guess thats what i have to do.

I wont give up but just wont try as hard.

[woobiegirl]

Some of us are givers, we gain satisfaction out of nuturing people. I am a giver as well, and don't do it expecting anything in return. Caring about people in general comes back in many ways, but not necessarily from the person you are giving it to. I've found that what happens sometimes by the people who are close to you is they get used to you always being there for them by being supportive, listening and offering support. We may feel at times that they are not giving it back , but a different way to look at is maybe they think you are the stronger person. Too many times we do think about our friends and loved ones, but fail to let them know we are doing it.

 

He is lucky to have you as a friend...and we are lucky to have so many caring friends on this site.

 

Take care,

Woobiegirl

[Abby]

This kind of thing happens to me all the time and I understand how hurt you must feel because I sure do!

 

Because I've never actually found anything that works for me, I'm afraid I can't actually offer you any advice on this.

 

I just wanted you to know that you're not alone in this xxx

[thepinkpanther]

thats exactly how it is for me.....

except when i dont do all i can my friends get angry with me

i couldnt get new friends either because i am a rather shy person

[Celadon]

Hi almostgolden. When you talk about a guy, is this *just* a friend, or is this someone you're interested in? If it is, that's sort of a different situation than just feeling underappreciated by friends.

 

If it's just friends, I'd say, think about what you need and focus on that in addition to other people's needs. Lots of people are not as intuitive as you are, and not attentive to anyone's needs but their own. They need help in reciprocating. You can help them by asking for what you want -- subtley, of course! If you just expect them to give back, they may not think about it until you bring it up. Say, "oh, sure would be nice to hear back from you. Write me this week if you get a minute!" But don't be demanding.

 

Also, the thing about guys and cards -- they don't return cards. IMHO, they don't have any idea what to do with cards. So, don't expect one back. Just be happy you did what you did.

 

OTOH, you need to be careful that your self-esteem doesn't rest on what other people think of you or how much they need you. 'Cause if it does, then you'll have a hard time being happy. Do what you do because you believe in it, because you believe it makes people happy. I'm sure it does, too.

[skye1607306992]

u know it happens to me all the time far to may times that sometimes i tend to be paranoid. but as u get older, you'll learn how to deal with it.

[almostgolden]

I got an Happy Easter Phone call is that a good sign of true friendship?