Ex's girlfriend is telling me to back off.

[medtranusa]

Okay my ex of a 9-year relationship recently initiated contact with me because his girlfriend is accusing him of fooling around with me. Long story short today he did not call and when I called him she answered and told me to get on with my life and not to call him anymore. She said I'm asking you nicely, which I took as a threat. I told her with were just friends. She asked if I needed him to tell me that and put him on the phone to do just that. He did not do as he was told but asked me to tell her we were not fooling around. I told him I did not want to talk to her but if he cannot talk to me then I needed to hear it from him. He only asked me to try not to be at his parents house very often. I told him I visit them maybe once a week and that is none of her business. If she has a problem with it she needs to talk to his mom about it. I told him to call me when he can and he agreed. So I think he is just aggravating the crap out of her. Earlier in the week she was supposed to move out and quite frankly he did not have a problem with that. He is one of those wishy washy guys that has to try so he will not feel guilty about ending it. I can't say I feel sorry for him. I think I will just go on as usual, visit his parents when I want to, and not contact him again. I know he will be calling but I can't help but feel he is really looking for more than friendship so he is trying to leave the door open. Anyone have any advice for me? I am only calling us friends so I do not want to tell him to buzz off next time he calls. Any thoughts from anyone?

[medtranusa]

He called and she is moving out again. He is pretty happy about it too. Live and learn. No contact and working on yourself works, but I will not be moving back in with him without getting married. Wish me luck!

[medtranusa]

Well my ex called to tell me that they are going to make one more try. Big surprise, not! He wants to keep calling me though and keep me involved in this drama. I agreed but after thinking about it I called him back to say that he should not call me. If he is really trying to make this relationship work she would not appreciate him talking to me about it. He was pretty upset and said he has no one to talk to. My heart bleeds! I told him I am not waiting for him. This is the life he chose and he cannot have it both ways. I was not nasty or angry about it either. It felt good because it was like getting to dump him back.

[SLBG]

Well done medtranusa,

 

I think you made the best choice.

 

I think he was trying to play you, he wants to keep u on the back burner while he tests the water with his new relationship.

 

Don't let him treat u like a doormat. He has to stop messing u around. Stick with NO CONTACT, let him make his mistakes.

 

Be strong, he will be back. But don't take him back until he is finished with the new girl.

 

Don't play his games, if he wants to play games let him mess his new girlfriends head up. Ur better than that.

 

Good luck, keep us informed

 

slbg

[medtranusa]

I blew it already. He sent me an email saying he thought I was pissed off but I'm not really so stupid me went and called him. I told him my life was going just fine until this past week and all the false accusations. His girlfriend is making my life uncomfortable. His mom and I are being blamed by some for their having problems. The problems are all due to her acusing him of being with me. He had not been calling me until he tired of her accusations. I started another post on the subject and I am thinking of totally breaking all ties with him, his parents, and totally leave my familiar surroundings. I just want to fade away because I am so unhappy now.