SEXXX

[mermayd]

I dont really know how to say this without going into too much depth. But basically, I dont know what I want out of sex. I have never been asked. Always the pleaser, never pleased. My bf wants me to tell him what I want and it usually ends up in an argument b/c I have no idea and I dont know where to look for ideas. I know how to please him, that isnt the problem, he wants ME to be pleased and he refuses to go any further if I dont speak up. When I cant think of anything, I lose the mood and get frustrated and thats when an argument arises. Anything I DO want or have suggested, he says is too "popular" and that I should establish my own sexual creativity. I told him that it is like tying a child's hands behind their back for 10-15 years and then untying them and asking them to pain a picture. What do you think would happen? I know I can assume no picture. That is unless there are photos given to provide guide;ines and then they can copy or build off of the idea. All I am asking for are the "photos" just to build off of and I never get an answer.

Ok, so to make a long story short, I am terrified to have sex with him now for fear of humiliation and the loss of the excitement. It has been 2 weeks since our last time. I just KNOW that once we start, he will ask me what I want and the whole thing will start over again.

Can anyone please help? What do all you women like? I need ideas. PM me if you need to, I just need SOME input. This really sux!

[take_the_reins]

Hey mermayd,

well im not a sex expert or anything ... but shouldnt it just happen? i mean if your together and stuff shouldnt you be able to find the things you like? ask him to explore you whole body and find the things you like, he'll obviously know what u are and arnt finding pleasurable, mabye you could try lots of new things, get some books and make variations to suit your preferances! sorry its not that much help!

Hope everything works out!

Take_the_reins x

[GeeCee]

Hi Mermayd - unfortunately I am no sex expert either - I wish!!! But this does not sound good - your partner is controlling and suppressing your desire with his constant nagging.

 

But I find it slightly curious that you cannot say what you like. I would leave him out of the equation for a while. Lock the doors, switch the phone off, pour yourself a lovely glass of red, sensuous music. Set the scene for finding out what YOU like by exploring your own body. Use your fantasies to fuel your thoughts. See where it takes you. Don't be afraid to explore yourself and pleasure yourself. Then, if you want to, you can take this information to your man.

 

However, I don't particularly like the pressure he is putting on you. He is making you NOT want to have sex ... not a very clever move!

 

Good luck.

 

G xx