Help! I need some tips to 'get off' and 'let go'!!

[alls]

Ive only just started to become sexualy active with my partner. So it is new to me, which could be why. I was with someone else but it was horrible.

 

I find my mind, goes over totally random things while we are having sex. I can't concentrate of the 'pleasure'. The fingering or oral, feels great, but just doesn't get me there. I was nearly there one time, just via sex itself, but didnt get there.

 

I do believe its in my mind... its elsewhere, not thinking just on what im feeling in that moment.

 

What are some tips to 'let go' and clear your mind!!

 

I feel he is getting dissapointed he can't get me to orgasm...

[TBE_1989]

I can't really give you any tips on how to let go or to relax,except to try on focus on him and the pleasure he's giving to you. All I can say is that this is normal and that I was in the same position. I was with my ex for 9 months, that relationship ended a year ago and its only in the past few months I've learned how to orgasm! It takes women time to learn what makes them tick and most women have to learn how to orgasm, it's not something that just happens like for guys.

 

I'd try masturbating to see what makes you orgasm and then getting your partner to focus on that. In the meantime, reassure him he's not doing anything wrong and try to place all your attention on him and lose yourself in the moment of sex! It WILL happen eventually

[Knotty]

Men can have similar problems when they first start being sexual with someone. With men it's usually more about learning the new physical sensations compared to masturbating. But some girls never learned to masturbate to orgasm, so that's another hurdle they need to get past.

 

Can you orgasm by yourself from masturbating? If you can't then try that first. If you can, then try that but with your partner with you. It's a matter of getting used to the new feeling (compared to masturbating) and being willing to be vulnerable with your partner. You need to feel very comfortable with him.

[Phunkytown]

This is a pretty common thing to be not wholly comfortable around a new partner. I would as the others say just try and relax.

 

When my girlfriend and I became active together sexually, I could never climax. As a dude, this is a pretty big deal, and something I've always viewed as weakness. After a few times, and as our feelings grew, I became more and more comfortable, so the sex is fantastic now, for me and her.