Can't find a reason

[kaylanc]

For years now I thought that I had a problem with commitment because I lost interest in people. After much evaluation, reminiscent thought and consideration of my current relationship I've come to realize that it's not a matter of me leaving because I was the only one giving anything into the relationship but more so because I couldn't recognize (or more so accept or realize) that the other person honestly cared about me as much (if not more) than I cared for or loved them. It feels like I refuse to believe that someone is capable of caring that extensively for me, but in reality I refuse to accept or believe that they already do. It's a very difficult feeling to describe because it's honestly subconscious and I still in my own mind feel that the other person really just doesn't consider me nearly as significant in their life as I consider them in mine and they don't think about the relationship the way I do. This only dawned on me recently because my current relationship is one in which I know how he feels and it wasn't until we got much closer that I started to pull away and use the excuse for myself that I just didn't think he cared all that much (which I know is not the case). Once I realized this I started noticing a trend in my past in which as soon as something became serious I would pull away because I thought "they didn't care". I think this is some form of fearing commitment and being let down but I'm not sure. Is there anyone who can relate?

Knc

[waveseer]

I've done this before, but I'm not sure I was incorrect in my assessment that I cared more. I read behavioral patterns to discern the truth of the matter. Maybe they did care, but obviously not enough.