Hate my mother right now

[ATLstudent]

She freaking oversteps everyones boundaries gets in everyones business, and had contributed to two emotionaly unstable sons. She has spun her web pretty freakin deep in my family. She just pipes up whenever anyone else is having a conversation, not letting my dad have a relationship with us or my brother and i to have a relationship. She only allows the three guys to have a relationship with her, and doesnt let the other guys have a relationship. I dont know this person, she doesnt truly care about me, i know that, she only has sadness and an inability to feel love so she takes that out on my family, but keeping people held down, and not letting people spread there wings. She has a issue with pepople leaving so she keeps us all to herself, selfishly , abusively.

I think she is comforted with people around her being in pain or misery, so i am going to make it a misssion to be happy, to get out of the cycle they have keep me in. Depresssion is the abuse they give me

I am really glad I had to live back home for another year, I am really glad. This way I can scrap the idealized version I had in my head of the kind of person my mother was, now i can see her with adult eyes and get a clearer pciture, she is crazy and out of touch with everything, and doesnt truly care about anyone else,, until it is self serving.

[atelis]

sounds like you described my mother to a tee. It has caused me enormous problems in adult life and particularly in relationships. Enforce your boundaries, i can't state how important that is. You need to get used to that habit now or you will pay a heavy price later.

 

My mother would spin her web of guilt over us and it is incredibly damaging. She would show love when we did as we were told or as she told us. When we didn't, she withdrew from us and sulked.......that just made us feel more guilty.

 

She dominated our household and controlled all of us.......what we said, how we conduscted ourselves as a family etc.

 

they do it in the name of love, however they don't realise that they are doing it through fear.........their own fear of us leaving the nest or betraying their love. They are only defined by being mothers and they cling on to that for all it's worth and they do that through control and guilt.

 

Be strong. I paid the price by staying too long at home.......it has made me very dysfunctional in a lot of area's, i procrastonate, have difficulty making commitments, have abandonment fear, no boundaries and live with a lot of fear and guilt

[ATLstudent]

what age did you leave home

[ATLstudent]

And i believe its where my bisexuality and sexual confusion roots from. Damn You . Good god, DO NOT BE AN OVERBEARING MOTHER TO YOUR KIDS LET THEM HAVE THIER LIFE, PLEASE

[LostChance]

Honestly I think you're blaming your mother a bit much.

 

Before you said you had an optimistic view of her and now you have a pessimistic view. I'm sure she lies somewhere in between.

 

Don't blame your sexuality on your mom.

[atelis]

Honestly I think you're blaming your mother a bit much.

 

Before you said you had an optimistic view of her and now you have a pessimistic view. I'm sure she lies somewhere in between.

 

Don't blame your sexuality on your mom.

 

unless you have suffered from it, it's very hard to relate to it.

 

Blaming is the not the answer. Acceptance and doing something about it is. It is about taking control back from your parents for your own life. They did the best they could, but your mother's smothering and controlling behaviour is more about her own upbringing than it is about being a bad mother. She loves you, but to her, love is overprotecting and smothering you because that's the way she can protect herself from her own fears.

 

Don't blame your mother, sit down with her and respectfully say what you need to say. Start establishing boundaries with her.

 

It is a good idea to seek some therapy too. This sort of thing can be very confronting, so that is a good step.

 

But don't let anger take your over. You can't change the past and your mum does love you........it's just that her own fear will not let her let go of you.

[ATLstudent]

F*&%!

I wish i could just be functional