confused2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Please it is a little long but I really need the help! I met this girl about 2 weeks ago. First sunday in May. At a friends gathering. We started chatting and hit it off. She told our mutual friend that she really likes me and I ended up driving her home and exchanging numbers and setting a dinner date for the following thurs. Had a GREAT first date. Huge chemistry and a ton in common.( Which only got deeper as time went) Hug and a innocent kiss goodnight. On the Saturday Went with the mutual friend to visit her at the bar she works part time at and she was all smiles. All the girls said she couldnt stop talking about the "guy" she met and told our friend that she feels all giddy and she cant remember feeling this way for a long time. Chatted with her the next night on the phone and we set up date 2. Went out on date 2 on the tuesday. Had a great night ended at a romantic little wine bar sharing stories laughing and some definate physical flirting. She said we should check out the farmers market on the sunday and i suggested we go for a hike (Which she is into) She made me aware of the amount of school work she had to do and that wouldnt work for her. Date ended with a small kiss. Our mutual friend ended up having us over for dinner on sunday (which i had brought a small gift i had made for her which she loved)and again it was all smiles. We ended up going out the 3 of us to the bar she worked at and we had a blast. Again some physical flirting and she even called me baby. She had also told her friend that night how she loves that she can be "herself" around me and that she likes i am not the type of person that always has to be beside her etc. Also mentioned that I hoped i understand how busy her schedule was with work and 4 courses in school etc. Which i totally do. We chatted about some stuff and ended up setting up a third date for this thursday. We all ended back at our friends house and stayed over all in separate beds as the hot tub had taken the toll on our bodies and the drinks we had consumed. Got up next morning (monday) cooked breakfast and we all went our ways etc. I left by saying i would see her thursday and she put her arms around me for a huge hug. Sent her a text today saying that I hope she is having a great day and she sent one back thank you and you too, good luck with you meeting. 3 hrs later i get this text. (Hey, sorry thurs isnt going to work for me. I am super overwhelmed with school right now, this last month is crunch time.) To which i responded (I understand timing is off....no worries. I rather enjoyed spending time with you and would really enjoy seeing you again so do give me a call when things arent so crazy for you keep in touch) She responded with (I did too, i will for sure! Have a great week!) I talked to our mutual friend and she said that she knew she was super busy as she had a hard time getting a hold of her and that at least she didnt say she didnt have feelings for me????? So now i am sooooo confused on what happened here. I totally understand just how busy she is etc. But why get so into it just to pull the plug? What are your thoughts, opinions? what is my next move? What happened here!!!! Is this something that will come around? Is this just an honest I am really too busy right now or is it a I am not interested anymore.....?? Thank you Link to comment
ResonanceTheory Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Try to be understanding. She is into you, but she is not SO invested in you that you are more important than her school work. I would see this as a good thing--she is an independent person who has her priorities straight. Take it easy, date other people, and wait for her to come back around. She probably will once school things calm down. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Either I have misunderstood you somewhere, but I don't really see where the problem is: when she had time, she enjoyed spending it with you. She was upfront that there will be times when she is busy with schoolwork. The next time that happened she informed you of it beforehand. - Now she is busy at school. Where is the confusion???? Would you have preferred that she did not spend any time with you at all, because she knew down the road there would be a phase where she would not have the opportunity to socialize? Link to comment
PixelPusher Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I don't see any problem at all. She seems very into you but this relationship IS new and you both have priorities. Her school work is crazy and she's mature enough to get things in order. I wouldn't go completely incommunicado with her... send her a text or a voicemail occasionally wishing her well with her schoolwork (or whatever) just to let her know you're still around. By the sound of it, she will call you the moment she has a few seconds of time to spare. Link to comment
knightingale Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I don't see the problem or confusion. She's busy. You can hang out again when she's not. Link to comment
confused2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 you are all sooo right.... I was taking this as a rejection and that this is OVER....which i guess it is clearly not. More of a pause right? AS far as communication goes I dont want her to think I have lost all interest when would be an appropiate time to text or call her to say hi? Or do i wait for her to initiate contact? Link to comment
PixelPusher Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I would wait a day or two, and send her a text saying "hope things are going well!" or something. Texting is great in this kind of instance because they read it and can respond when they have time... you're never really interrupting her. Then she'll either call or text back. Just play it by ear... Link to comment
confused2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 Hmm i was thinking I would wait till Monday seeing I know she has school and work Friday and is busy with school on the weekend. Also the have a great week text led me to think I should wait till mon...... But I was thinking something along these lines. " Hey ****, hope you had a good week and all is well." Second Question is should i wait to ask her to do something completely till school is over in 3 weeks or should a try for a coffee in a week?? Link to comment
knightingale Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 I would text her a "Hope school is going well! Hang in there." text on Monday and avoid trying to make any future plans until she has given you the okay to do so--i.e. she makes it clear she's not busy anymore. So, yeah, wait until the three weeks is up. Link to comment
confused2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Author Share Posted May 24, 2009 Well she texted me on wednesday to say she was really enjoying the gift I gave her and to say thanks again. I played it very laid back and playful. A few playful texts thurs and fri and thats it........ Any thoughts!? Link to comment
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