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should this stop me from saying it?


pinkrobot

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First off, this post might sound ridiculous. Just a warning. I'm good at overanalyzing everything.

 

Second, for those of you who haven't read my past posts/don't remember them, the background: boyfriend first said "I love you" to me 5 months ago and I said it back, but the catch was he said it in a moment of crisis (so to speak) and he never said it again after that. Now, I've been working up the courage to say it to him, but I'm SO shy and I chicken out every time because I'm self-conscious.

 

So...

 

Last night we were watching a sitcom on TV, and two of the characters said "I love you" for the first time. Now, it's a sitcom mind you, so it's overexaggerated and admittedly cheesy (even I can admit that), but at the same time it was reminding me of my own situation.

 

When this happened on the show, my boyfriend goes "Awwwwwww!" in the most sarcastic tone, and then laughs at the couple.

 

Now, all this made me think was, "Is he going to think like that when I say it to him?" I was almost going to take the plunge and say it this morning to him, but after he did that watching the show last night I was worried he'd just think I was being cheesy, so I refrained.

 

Am I being ridiculous for looking into it like I am? I mean, it's a TV show. And I have to agree, it was really cheesy how it was portrayed. But I'm such a self-conscious person to begin with, all I can imagine now is that if I tell him I love him he'll just think it's cheesy. ](*,)

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"At the risk of being cheesy - I just wanted to say 'I love you' ".

 

While that sounds good, I feel like that also sets him up to agree that it's cheesy rather than saying it back...which is ultimately what I'm hoping for when I do say it to him...

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I think saying I love you just pops out of your mouth when its the right time. To ponder and wonder when is the right time seems forced to me.

 

Either way, that's not the issue anymore. It's that he said it once before when he may not have meant it, hasn't said it since, and now appears to find amusement in two people saying it to each other for the first time.

 

Sigh...

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