Loving again?

[Scooter]

(Hope I've posted this in the right place).

 

Quick question as I'm just interested in peoples' opinions.

 

I've now been single for about 7 months after I split from my ex. I've found the whole experience emotionally draining. Anyway, I'm now really worried about my next relationship in case that doesn't work out. I can't go through this again as it hurts so much. I invested so much time and energy into my ex and for what? So she can dump me and go off with someone else. I'm not sure I have the energy to do it again. Does this make sense or is it just a pessimistic attitude? I know I could do with a good kick up the ass 'cos I still feel really sad.

[avman]

Hi Scooter,

 

I think its totally normal to feel that way. It hurts to have everything collapse like that and you then wonder if its really worth it to try again. It doesn't sound like you are quite healed from the old relationship yet so there is nothing saying you have to jump back into a new one if you aren't ready. Spend some time working on YOU and feeling good about yourself as a single person. Love yourself a bit. Do some things that you've always been wanting to do, but haven't. Don't worry about getting into a new relationship for awhile.

 

And then, when you least expect it, something will come your way. At that point you can decide whether you are ready to give it a try.

 

avman

[woobiegirl]

Oh yes, we've all worried about sharing our feeligns with someone again, but there are no guarantees. Sometimes they leave us, other times they are taken from us too early in life. I think it takes at least a year to experience the healing process if you truly had a solid relationship and agree with Avman. Keeping busy helped me, (the 1st year was the tough one), surround yourself with friends, I did allot of reading "feel good books" "relationship books"...they all helped me to look at different view points and learn about myself.

 

I am on my 4th year of being alone after a 9 year relationship where I thought I'd marry the person. It wasn't easy, but I'm very positive now, realize I have allot to offer the right person and now know what I will or will not accept in a relationship. I didn't rush into trying to find someone, but chose to focus on my career, new hobbies, and made new friends. I knew someday I would meet someone special again, so I decided in the meatnime to enjoy me freedom and take one day at a time.

 

Well, it's happened!! I've recently met someone very special, someone who I feel I could be happy with for the rest of my life. Am I scared...? YOU BET!!!... but I giving it all my heart because he is special and you need to be healthy mentally going in and not make the person who cares about you pay for something that someone else did to you.

 

Surprisingly, new relationships are sometimes stronger because each of you have gained strength and hopefully won't make the same mistakes.

 

Good luck and Take Care,

Woobiegirl

[routerx]

I know it hurts. I had my heart broken.. shattered. It took over a year to get over it.

 

You have to believe in love.

 

The key is to find someone who also believes in love. You must love yourself. That will show to others.

 

Don't give up.

 

I am loving someone again. I admit, it took a long time... 4 years to find love again, but I never settled. I may get my heart broken.. but I'd rather have my heart broken 100 times then to quit believing in love.

[tkdmask]

It is emotionally draining. And it is hard not to let it get to you. I have been in a similiar relationship in the past. I learned that Insecrity drives women away, so does bragging, and clinginess. I spent so much time on my x girlfriend, i was always available, to nice, etc. The sleepless nights, the feelings we shared, the times we spent together lauphing and talking, all come back to me in the darkness of my mind. It all meant nothing in the end. I lyed once. Thats all what it took to be left. I just spent time making myself a better person, doing things that i enjoy, and going places i like to go. If my x can go on and find another man and be happy, whats holding me back. We all went through this. Its normal. But yet it hurts. And we dont like things that hurt. Especially something we love.

 

Take care

[misiek001]

Keep your head up! I know what you are going through. It's been almost a year and a half since my ex left me for someone else (she is now married with a kid), and I still have strong feelings. I can honestly tell you that a day does not go by when I don't think of her and think of what could have been. Even so, I know that I am getting stronger and know that I will one day find someone who will love me 10 times as much as she did. You can't give up.... life is a battle and situations like this are the individual conflicts in that battle. It will get better... for some it just takes longer than for others. Good luck and God bless.