reneex061 Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 ive been dating my boyfriend one and off for 2 years. things have been sorta rough lately. today i asked him if he even still liked me, and he said yeah. and i wanted to ask why and see what hed say...he said "i dont know"..i was shocked he said he doesnt know. he asked me why i liked him, and i told him my reasons, and he said his were the same..but he still says he doesnt know why he likes me. i dont really know how to take this, he said he likes me for the same reasons i like him BUT says he doesnt know why he doesnt. im really confused. can anyone help me with this? and please be as nice as possible.. Link to comment
live.ur.life Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 I think you should accept the "I don't know"...Maybe he likes you for all sorts of reasons. Were you looking for him to give you a boost of confidence? I used to question my relationship like this, but then I realized that I was nagging my boyfriend about absolutely something so pointless.. Plus, I made my boyfriend think that I was acting insecure about myself. Link to comment
Maya_A Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Huuuge "ditto" to the above... ^^^ Consider that some people express themselves less in certain ways than others. Accept that he likes you for some of the same reasons you like him. Besides, you must have some cues & clues already. For instance, you might laugh a lot together & so it would go that he enjoys your sense of humor. If he has told you that you look nice or your hair looks nice (whatever it is) on a given day you can deduce that he finds you physically attractive. If he asks for your advice or comments on many different things you can tell that he values your opinions, etc. You can tell a lot just via your interactions with him... Link to comment
reneex061 Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 I think you should accept the "I don't know"...Maybe he likes you for all sorts of reasons. Were you looking for him to give you a boost of confidence? I used to question my relationship like this, but then I realized that I was nagging my boyfriend about absolutely something so pointless.. Plus, I made my boyfriend think that I was acting insecure about myself. no i was just wondering because he never tells me why he likes me. and it sometimes makes me feel like he doesnt because he can never tell me why. Link to comment
live.ur.life Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 no i was just wondering because he never tells me why he likes me. and it sometimes makes me feel like he doesnt because he can never tell me why. If he is nice to you and treats you with kindness and compassion than you know he loves you. I wouldn't question it if I were you. is something about your relationship bothering you? Link to comment
reneex061 Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 If he is nice to you and treats you with kindness and compassion than you know he loves you. I wouldn't question it if I were you. is something about your relationship bothering you? well see the thing is, he doesnt always treat me so nicely..if you read any of my previous post youll see there are really a lot of things bothering me about it. well maybe its not so much our relationship, its how he treats me. its not right. Link to comment
live.ur.life Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 well see the thing is, he doesnt always treat me so nicely..if you read any of my previous post youll see there are really a lot of things bothering me about it. well maybe its not so much our relationship, its how he treats me. its not right. if you aren't feeling treated the way you want to be, than you need to leave him. If he is being mean to you, that is NOT right. I am sorry that you r going through this. I hope u feel better. HUGS Link to comment
reneex061 Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 if you aren't feeling treated the way you want to be, than you need to leave him. If he is being mean to you, that is NOT right. I am sorry that you r going through this. I hope u feel better. HUGS thanks. idk what i am going to do really..its rough. Link to comment
rosie442 Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 us, being women - we over analyze things...this is one of them. men think much differently from us. his i dont know is his response because he doesnt want to be all mushy and stuff Link to comment
reneex061 Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 us, being women - we over analyze things...this is one of them. men think much differently from us. his i dont know is his response because he doesnt want to be all mushy and stuff yeah thats what im trying to think. but its hard because i feel he really doesnt know why he likes me. i mean i want him to be able to at least tell me something. its been two years and he cant give me one reason why? its sorta upsetting. i mean maybe i am over-thinking it but im not really sure. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Here is what you said in an earlier thread. "... i told my boyfriend last night that i feel this way about myself and he told me that he doesnt understand why i think im a horrible person and he also told me that i have nothing to worry about and that im fine the way that i am and i shouldnt change anything. WELL today we got into an argument and he completely flipped out on me (keep in mind he does this all the time when he gets mad) and he was telling me everything i do wrong and was saying that he doesnt want to be with me anymore because i do too much wrong. BUT last night he told me the complete opposite. And i told him what he said last night and he told me he was lying to make me feel better and he didnt mean anything he said last night. he does this all the time though tells me that i do nothing wrong and dont have to worry then changes it whenever hes mad." Dating on and off for two years. Going through rough times now. He doesn't always treat you well. He flips out at you and tells you everything you do wrong and then changes his mind. And now, he's not sure why he likes you. It sounds like this is a relationship of extremes: on then off, nice then mean, like then uncertainty. Of course this is upsetting! Honestly, after two years, it seems clear that he's not exactly going to change. He's not going to become more open and communicative; he's not going to stop flipping out at you anytime soon; he's not going to express why he likes you tomorrow. I think he cares about you BUT not enough to sustain a healthy relationship. Your anxiety here isn't far off. At this point, you should have better communication, less angst, and more clarity on why you like each other. It's time for you to let this one go honey. Link to comment
reneex061 Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 yeah i understand. its really hard to though. idk why he doesnt care about me enough, or if he even does at all. i really dont know anything. im going to see where it goes within a wk or two and then think about what im going to do. none of this is fair to me. Link to comment
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