Getting jaded/cold just the coping mechanism?

[dr_styles]

Just more random thoughts as I kinda struggle to say sane, and another interesting one came up.

They say to try and stay positive, not to get jaded or similar because if someone did "come along" later you would just brush them off and doom yourself again. And that's all fair enough, I agree with all that.

 

However what I am thinking is that depending on the person, you can only do so much to not get jaded. Like that getting jaded is the coping mechanism you have to do to keep going on living after a long time trying. You can only distract yourself, keep focusing on other things, for only so long, but as mentioned in other threads, in the end there is no substitute for some love/romance if that is what you desire. And if you can't get any, the only other way out is the sad task of basically convincing yourself it doesn't exist, getting to that cold loveless jaded state.

 

Just a thought.

[top bloke]

Its interesting... I found that the jaded given up state tended to bring more women my way as a youngster. Because you stop thinking too much about it and as a result become more balanced and approachable.

[dr_styles]

haha somehow I don't think that's the message you should be sending. I certainly don't want to speed up my rate to that state!

[COtuner]

I could agree with some of this. Being jaded was the only way I could survive the breakup with the BF and some layoffs at work in the past, stands to reason it can be a suit of mail for some other things too.

[Yanet]

You should be bitter. Stop caring about other people, but that doesn't necessarily mean stop caring what they think of you. Of course, it'd be nice to let go of both.