tulipsfav Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 I met my ex boyfriend on a dating site, so even though i am not paid up i would still receive emails to say that someone has viewed my profile. I received an email this evening and out of curosity i went onto the site. My ex was online. I immediately felt sick and started to shake! I feel so rejected and used by someone i fell in love with. Any advice guys???? Link to comment
hers Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 if you can't handle the answer, don't ask the question. ie, if you go looking for trouble, you'll find it. Link to comment
Casey13 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 I don't get it. He is your ex so what's so horrible that he is on a dating site. He is single and looking, nothing wrong with that and you are doing the exact same thing so I have no clue what the issue is. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 This is pretty normal. If he is your ex there is little you can do, and some people just get back out there far quicker than others. If he has not probably healed that would be his issue, it isn't yours anymore. And think of what you are saying - if he did the EXACT same thing as you it would also show YOU as online and active...so I am unclear as to why this is causing such a severe reaction out of you. For all he knows you are also on there looking. Being hurt is understandable, but feeling rejected and used is not really appropriate just because he is on a dating site. If you are broken up, whatever he does now isn't rejection, and this surley would not constitue being used....confused about that. Link to comment
tulipsfav Posted March 30, 2009 Author Share Posted March 30, 2009 I am not looking for someone else. if i was i would have paid up again. The fact that i am gutted by the breakup which happened 5weeks ago. I am definitely nowhere ready to look for someone else!!! But he obviously is. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 You are making assumptions exactly the way he would be if he assumed you were also actively looking. YOu have no idea if he logged in for curiosity as well, just like you did. The reasons WHY he is on there you really have to try to get out of your head. He could also assume you are doing the same thing based on this circumstantial evidence. I bet nine out of ten people who break up who once had an active dating profile log in for curiosity even if they are not ready to seriously date. Link to comment
Casey13 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Many people resort to dating sites and put themselves out there as a means of speeding up the recovery process from the break up. Although you may not like the idea of prompt dating post break-up he probably does and many guys do. It just helps with distracting the person and keeping them busy, letting the time fly by while they heal and get over the relationship quicker. Link to comment
tulipsfav Posted March 30, 2009 Author Share Posted March 30, 2009 Yes i know what you are saying and i get your point about me being online and active, got upset because basically the time we spent together meant nothing. He is just moving on to the next girl. Link to comment
hers Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 you have no idea if it meant nothing to him. Link to comment
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