I am a complete mess, and don't even know who can help

[sereana]

I am married and cheated on my husband. I am not even the cheating kind and have always been against it, but it happened, and to make a long story short I got the HPV virus from one affair. I now think I may have gotten the warts that sometimes come from it. I've looked it up constantly to get info on this std. I'm embarrassed to go to my doctor and truly find out, and if I do how do I hide this from my husband of 19 years. The truth is I'm finally so happy with him and now this. I have nowhere to turn, and am so desperate. All day long I think about this and it's actually making me so sick. My whole life could be ruined. I really don't know what advice anyone could give me, but I'm just crying out. Thanks for listening.

[noregret]

which type of HPV virus do you have? There are numerous types and the behavior of each virus is different. Treatment of this disease will take months and even years. Given such circumstances, I do not think you will be able to keep this secret to your husband forever. As time passes, he will grow to be suspicious, and one mistake such as discovering your medication will give you away. So I suggest you be honest with him and tell him the whole truth. Telling the truth may be difficult for you, and I understand your fear of destroying your husband's illusion of you, and result in ruin in a supposedly happy family. But then, on the other hand, since this secret is bound to be discovered, and if your husband is to know it without you being honest with him, then I am more or less sure that he will hate you even more.

Many marriages fail because of one party being unfaithful to another. But it does not mean that there is no chance for reconciliation. If you are truly sorry, then show that you are remorseful and promise that you will be a perfect wife in the future. Besides this, all you can do now is to seek treatment for your disease and hopefully get recover ASAP.

[sereana]

I will truly take into consideration what you have told me. Thank You for your advice

[Superfly81]

Sereana, this will be a hard response, so be prepared.

 

You blew it, and now you must face up to the consequences. Go see a doctor and make sure he gives you a complete check up. I am no doctor, but your current situation can be dangerous for you and for your man. What if you transmit the desease onto your husband? That on top of the cheating will make him quite mad.

 

If you fix this, I would NOT tell this to your husband. Being honest is important, but not in your situation. Telling it might make you feel better...but that's the only positove result, since it will make him feel mad and bad. Even if it does not end your marriage, he will never be able to trust you (if I were him). Better not knowing then...

 

Make sure you deal with it by talking about it on forums like this one, but don't say it to your husband if you can.

[400blows]

I think that it is so importnat that you are honest with your husband. you owe it to him if you are married to him to be honest, it is really the only way that you can move forward with at least some sense of peace. you may lose your husband, that is an understandable concern, but you would be more likely to lose him if you kept the secret and he found out. and even if you are a very good secret-keper, i suspect that if you have been married for 19 years that he will be able to tell that something is not right(not to mention the physical manifestation of the reality of the situation). you really should be honest with him and also try to figure out why you did what you did with this other man. maybe your husband wasn't providing something that this other man was, maybe you can work on getting that from your husband. I'm not sure and this is only my opinion, but I think honesty is the best policy in life. lies never end well. hope it works out for you and him.