nem69 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 I definetly do not want to go back in to a relationship with her if there is even half a chance she will up and run again. Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 I think you're missing something here... Even when you first met her, got into a relationship, there was always a chance she'd up and run. You just chose to ignore that cos you trusted her, and more importantly because you were stronger as a person and knew deep down that you could be on your own. The real trick that will potentially allow a successful reconciliation is to get to that point again. Bear in mind, she might even be worrying deep down that if she got back with you you'd dump her to equal the score. You can't get into a relationship without trust and a good dose of fatalism in a sense. Que sera sera. What it comes down to really is do you feel you can afford the time to make a mistake? Link to comment
nem69 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 I think you're missing something here... Even when you first met her, got into a relationship, there was always a chance she'd up and run. You just chose to ignore that cos you trusted her, and more importantly because you were stronger as a person and knew deep down that you could be on your own. The real trick that will potentially allow a successful reconciliation is to get to that point again. Bear in mind, she might even be worrying deep down that if she got back with you you'd dump her to equal the score. You can't get into a relationship without trust and a good dose of fatalism in a sense. Que sera sera. What it comes down to really is do you feel you can afford the time to make a mistake? Not sure I know what you mean about time to make a mistake. What I really will want from her is to find out if she knows why she dumped me. If she is still not clear then there is a potential problem. Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 I mean that you could be wasting time with someone who isn't right for you, time you could spend looking for or attracting someone better suited. Depends what you want - I'm 29 and am now looking for someone to have kids with, so chasing my ex who is 30 could work, might not, but I have a bit of time on my side. If I was 24 I wouldn't even consider it, got loads of time and will find someone else! If I was 45 I dunno. See what I mean? I told my therapist the same as you, that all I wanted from her was anapology for how she treated me over the last few months of our relationship, something I was good enough to give her. And some real reasons, not the stock answers she gave me. But I will only get these if she a) takes the time to figure it out b) wants to talk to me about it Neither of which I have control over. So I keep walking forward on my journey through life, and have to accept it might not happen. It's tough, I know... Link to comment
nem69 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Yep....doing the same. I haven't extiguished that glimmer of hope but being practical and realistic got to live my own life. Actually one of my bug bears may be if she's slept with him...dunno, still pondering that one as after all i have had more partners through my life that she has. Link to comment
nem69 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Oh well I was wrong just got an email from her "Hi mate Happy Birthday Hope you are having a good day. Thinking of you." Not reading anything in to that mind you. Justa little suprising since she sent a text to my phone early in the morning. Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Funny how they do that eh? Who knows what's going on in her mind. You're obviously still in there somewhere for her to send that text. Link to comment
nem69 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Well, I am sort of reading it as she is trying to stay in touch with me. Interesting that i got both a text message and an email though. Not reading anything in to the "thinking of you". Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Both saying the same thing? She obv wants to make sure she contacts you. Yeah don't read into it - waste of time and effort! Link to comment
nem69 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Never did reply to the email, figured i had said thanks already when i replied to the text message. Link to comment
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