HopelessSmitten Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Hey, that is me. Almost exactly. I am exactly like that, no lie. Oh wait...i'm 17. Sounds like you're just gonna have to wait. Haha Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 I don't think it is appropriate to conclude the guy would be unreasonable or dramatic. I don't think it is the case people can just get along with anyone due to personality differences unless they are masking their real personality and behaving according to some standard perceived by society to be mild mannered and generically polite. Then it comes down to whether you want your boyfriend to just put on a facade for the sake of your friends and further you can question whether he's just putting on a facade for you. Or ask yourself if you want him to get along with your friends because deep down you need others to validate your choice of boyfriend, indicating a lack of confidence in your own judgement, perhaps. I have no problem with getting along with just about anyone (as long as they are willing to get along with me). Nor does my boyfriend. As I said before, he doesn't have to love my friends. But, if he can't play nice around them, he's not the guy for me. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Nothing wrong with your wants, just realize each guy has his list of things he'd like his lady to possess as well, and it will likely be pretty tough for his list to look just like yours....so hopefully you have some flexibility in regards to those things on the list. Nothing in your list looks unreasonable but i mustsome of those traits are more female traits so you might not get a guy willing and wanting to do them all...some women find the guy who has all those traits and more, and then finds out later he's gay...its happened! I think the one on your list many guys might take issue wtih is you having a PT job. In this economy along with the fact that most women today do work and it takes two income households to make a good living many guys won't be as happy w/that as maybe they would have decade or two ago. In today's world even middle class moms with small children are working full time. Times have changed. Link to comment
Yanet Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 I have no problem with getting along with just about anyone (as long as they are willing to get along with me). Nor does my boyfriend. As I said before, he doesn't have to love my friends. But, if he can't play nice around them, he's not the guy for me. Okay, so taking the part of my post you boldened and your reply I assume you get along with just about anyone because you behave generically polite? Do you find you hide your true thoughts about a situation just to avoid upsetting someone else? Of course, what I'm getting at here is what I asked in the latter part of my previous post. Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Just out of curiosity, humour me, but what would you be providing? Points like 3, 4, 8, and 11 obviously require reciprocity. I like 12 and I think you'd probably endear yourself to a large portion of the male population. 5 and 6 are the ones I'm finding hard to reconcile at the moment. Whenever I've had that with a girl, it's ended up a bit sexless and with the whole "you're more like a brother to me" discussion. What's the tipping point? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Okay, so taking the part of my post you boldened and your reply I assume you get along with just about anyone because you behave generically polite? Do you find you hide your true thoughts about a situation just to avoid upsetting someone else? Of course, what I'm getting at here is what I asked in the latter part of my previous post. Nope, don't hide my true feelings. I am just a nice person. I wouldn't call it generic or "fake", I believe is what you are hinting at. I am just very agreeable overall. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Just out of curiosity, humour me, but what would you be providing? Points like 3, 4, 8, and 11 obviously require reciprocity. I like 12 and I think you'd probably endear yourself to a large portion of the male population. 5 and 6 are the ones I'm finding hard to reconcile at the moment. Whenever I've had that with a girl, it's ended up a bit sexless and with the whole "you're more like a brother to me" discussion. What's the tipping point? I also wonder what she will be bringing to the table because there is nothing more unrealistic than having a list of wants but not providing the guy with his list of wants as well if they are within reason. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 5 and 6 are the ones I'm finding hard to reconcile at the moment. Whenever I've had that with a girl, it's ended up a bit sexless and with the whole "you're more like a brother to me" discussion. What's the tipping point? My boyfriend and I are best friends. Funny enough, we typically drive around aimlessly in our boring old town. I wouldn't have it any other way. Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 My boyfriend and I are best friends. Funny enough, we typically drive around aimlessly in our boring old town. I wouldn't have it any other way. I've had that. What I mean is maintaining that sexuality at the same time? I've found it hard in the past. (no pun intended) Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 I've had that. What I mean is maintaining that sexuality at the same time? I've found it hard in the past. (no pun intended) Yeah, never had a problem with that. I like the fact that we are best friends because we find it easier to talk to each other about sex and such before and after. The way I deal with it is to have "aspects" of a relationship. A "social" aspect, a "romantic" aspect, a "friendship" aspect, a "business' aspect, a "support" aspect, and such... When something is lacking in a department, say, we don't feel like we have been particularily romantic lately, we switch into that mode. Giving each aspect the amount of attention that it needs (which, the needs fluccuate constantly). Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Yeah, never had a problem with that. I like the fact that we are best friends because we find it easier to talk to each other about sex and such before and after. The way I deal with it is to have "aspects" of a relationship. A "social" aspect, a "romantic" aspect, a "friendship" aspect, a "business' aspect, a "support" aspect, and such... When something is lacking in a department, say, we don't feel like we have been particularily romantic lately, we switch into that mode. Giving each aspect the amount of attention that it needs (which, the needs fluccuate constantly). That's interesting. I'd never compartmentalised things like that. Makes a lot of sense! Link to comment
Pr0vocative Posted March 18, 2009 Author Share Posted March 18, 2009 Just out of curiosity, humour me, but what would you be providing? Points like 3, 4, 8, and 11 obviously require reciprocity. I like 12 and I think you'd probably endear yourself to a large portion of the male population. 5 and 6 are the ones I'm finding hard to reconcile at the moment. Whenever I've had that with a girl, it's ended up a bit sexless and with the whole "you're more like a brother to me" discussion. What's the tipping point? I also wonder what she will be bringing to the table because there is nothing more unrealistic than having a list of wants but not providing the guy with his list of wants as well if they are within reason. I am the best most loving girlfriend I can be, I was all of those things in return in my last relationship and it wasn't mutual I deserve something mutual Link to comment
TheFlash Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 My perfect girl 1) Would be between the ages 18-23 2) Enjoys holding my hand in public and isn't afraid of public affection nor is he OVERLY publicly affectionate 3) Gets to know my friends 4) Realises how precious our relationship is and would do anything before letting it go. A girl whos faithful and doesn't try get around things with technicalities 5) A best friend and someone who will be silly with me 6) A girl who will do stupid stuff like go to the park and the swings, drive me somewhere with no destination and have picnics on the living room floor 7) A girl who understands that when I'm older I wanna be married with a full time job, someone that devotes my life to my wife and have a wife who feels mutually towards me and eventually kids 8 ) A romantic girl who will surprise me and spend lots of time with me 9) Someone who makes an effort with their apperance some of the time, especially if we go out 10) lots of texts and e-mails 11) Can hold long intelligent conversations with me and fully accepts me for my talents and flaws 12) A girl who will lay on my lap when I'm playing video games and will accept the fact that as hard as she tries shes suck at them and I won't make her feel so bad about it Is this impossible to find? Link to comment
Pr0vocative Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 I'd like a girl that's not afraid to be homeless and live in a van. That should narrow down my choices pretty well. Why may I ask? Link to comment
Anon21 Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 12) A guy who will let me lay on their lap when they're playing video games and will accept the fact that as hard as I try I suck at them and doesn't make me feel so bad about it Is this impossible to find? Trust me, you'll find love soon... Haha. Link to comment
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