Feeling vengeful

[Allan]

Hi, I'm feeling a little confused and angry right now, my wife and I broke up 4 months ago and part of the cause was another man among other things.

Over these 4 months there was one unsuccessful attempt at getting back together, at that time she was still with him and tried to come back to me with him still in the picture, needless to say with him still in the picture we didnt have a chance at reconciliation and we happened to have sex a couple of times and she obviously kept it from this guy.

So what i've been thinking is that my wife and I both paid a high price emotionally and financially for this break up and this guy has paid no price and i think he needs to suffer also, whether it be physically or emotionally, one thing i am thinking about doing is calling him and telling him we had sex a couple of times recently , as for physically, i have no plans of anything i just dont know how i will react if i see them in public together.

I'm probably just venting right now, but it helps to talk about it or even post it in this forum, any responses would be appreciated.

 

Allan

[Tinkerbell]

I can imagine that you're rather hurt right now, but there isn't any point in being childish and calling him up to try and hurt him. It takes two to tango, and you shouldn't want to inflict pain upon him. Afterall, it was your wife's decision to sleep with him. I don't think you made a wise choice sleeping with your wife after the two of you were supposedly "broken up." Since your wife is still involved with this man perhaps you should make the seperation final. I know it's hard to consider this, but you must take into account that if your wife really loved you, not only would she have not slept with another man in the first place, but she certainly wouldn't have continued to do it after you found out and it broke your heart.

[slider]

Dude relax with the physical stuff - it's not worth it. I'm in the same boat as you except I'm the "other man" so to speak. A girl I was dating has gone back to her ex and let me tell you that it hurts just as well. Of course in your case the other guy doesn't know. Whether to tell him yourself is a sticky issue there. It's not his fault that you two broke up in the first place and the best way to deal with a break up is to move on. That's what your ex did and what you must do also.

 

Anyway, my advice to you would be: If you see them in public, never let her know that it phases you - be friendly. If you do this, it shows strength on your part and will set her mind in reverse because it's something she probably doesn't expect. She'll be thinking of you and be very curious as to why you're not groveling. Many times they call wanting to get back together because the act pricks their ego.

[Allan]

I know getting physical is not the answer its just a bad day. As for the rest of your post all of that has already happened she came back groveling when she saw i was strong again, it just didnt work out.

The last few weeks she has been calling and crying on the phone , sending me frequent emails after i asked her not to contact me anymore which has been making it very tough to move on,so i guess what set me off today was that they are going to a family event (her family) and i feel like i lost her family too as we were close and i dont want this piece of crap around them, but in the end its none of my business anymore. I dont know...its just a turbulent day... thanks for the response.

 

Allan

[estevan_carlos]

if you're plans are revenge, make them real and severe and strongly consider the consequences. If you're willing to go to jail and be raped, then do what you need to do, otherwise go another route. If revenge is not what you want, then take your time. Read some books, play an instrument, draw some pictures...

 

listen to revenge music. that might help you channel your angst.

 

estevan carlos

 

 

[Allan]

Go to jail and get raped? Lets calm down people, I'm not out of control, just venting a little on this board.