EES Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Just want people to share their stories, successes and failures. I've heard this before, the dreaded 5 words. Some friends that know my ex think that he said it out of anger, or to make it easier for me to move on, but I will never know the truth so I MUST believe that he meant it. It's heartbreaking but it happens. Link to comment
wiley Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I was with my EX girlfriend for about 1.5 years. One day after a small argument she sat me down and told me that she "wasn't in love with me anymore, and didn't feel the same towards me". I was heartbroken and went for a drive shortly afterwords crying my eyes out. Like OP said, I will never know if she meant it or not, but there was nothing I could do at that point. She said she had slowly been feeling like she had a few weeks before she actually told me, she just wanted to make sure and see if her feelings would change I suppose. I don't think she realises that the 'great' feeling would calm down after the initial "honeymoon period" but now shes moved on and is with someone else. People end things so easily now days. Link to comment
xonicolemarie Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 hmmm I honestly think that the better way for someone to say it (if they actually feel this way) is " im not in love with you anymore" In love and love are two different things..and NOT ALWAYS but in serious long term relationships (when the love was actually real) i think they fall out of love, but still love that person( want the best for them, hope for happiness, etc.) But yeah, i havent personally heard it, but im sure its very heartbreaking Link to comment
xonicolemarie Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 p.s wiley, u bring up a very interesting point..i wonder how many people in the world know about the whole "great feeling going away after honeymoon stage".... i always thought that school should have a class on relationships/love/self esteem etc. thats where i learned about it, and to my surprise..a lot of people in my class didnt know about it Link to comment
locolady Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Oh yes, ive heard it....and will never forget how it felt! I got...."you look at me with so much love in your eyes and I just dont feel the same anymore. I dont love you anymore." We agreed to meet up to talk when feelings were not so raw, I didnt want to make a scene, I wanted to maintain my dignity and speak rationally when I had come to terms with it. he agreed and we went our separate ways. Then he NEVER spoke to me EVER again. I tried to call, email, wrote him a letter. I got nothing and I'll never know why he stopped loving me, erased me from his life, got a new girlfriend immediately and moved in with her. OUCH! I'd probably call that a failure story ;-) I can joke now but I was seriously depressed for a year over it and have only now found my feet again. I'll always hurt and feel utterly worthless thinking about him and how easily he disregarded me with "I don't love you anymore." Link to comment
wiley Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 p.s wiley, u bring up a very interesting point..i wonder how many people in the world know about the whole "great feeling going away after honeymoon stage".... i always thought that school should have a class on relationships/love/self esteem etc. thats where i learned about it, and to my surprise..a lot of people in my class didnt know about it I think they should too! Lets do it haha! So many people throw away something good.... Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 p.s wiley, u bring up a very interesting point..i wonder how many people in the world know about the whole "great feeling going away after honeymoon stage".... I think this varies from relationship to relationship. The "great feeling" didn't go away for me until the end, which was two years down the line! So yeah, our "honeymoon stage" lasted pretty much two years... RE: "I don't love you anymore" - I made my ex say it to me in order to get closure. The way in which she said it made me think she didn't really mean it and was only saying it so I could move on (she knows how much pain I am in at the moment), but I was probably reading into things as I don't WANT to believe it. All I can do is to take her at her word and assume it to be the truth Link to comment
girl68 Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I've said it, and I meant it. But I did mean it more like "I'm not in love with you anymore" but what came out was "I don't love you anymore". So while you might mean one thing you've said the other. So while I did love him for sometime after that, it wasn't the kind of love that keeps people together. It was the kind of love that is like everlasting care for that person. So I've used the two statements interchangably. Just thought you might like to know he COULD have meant either... but the result is the same. Link to comment
EES Posted March 4, 2009 Author Share Posted March 4, 2009 Yeah I was in a really bad place at that time, dealing with the break up very badly. First relationship, first love. I asked him to tell me whether he loved me still, and to tell me the truth and not be afraid of hurting me. This was also the day after his dad had a stroke, and he was in the hospital waiting room when he said it, "I'm sorry but I don't love you anymore". Either way, whether I would want him back or not in the future, this was the most painful thing i've heard and it'll be hard to get over it. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 My boyfriend said this to me when we broke up (back together). But, he told me later that it was a lie to protect his own feelings while breaking up. I'm not sure if it was or not but I'm not really concerned with it. It does hurt though. A lot. Link to comment
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