If I died tomorrow,I feel no one would care,cause I have no1

[psw74]

I'm 29 yrs old and am looking at my life and see nothing!!!!.

I guess by now I expected to have a family, good job, and be happy but things just have not worked out that way.

The weird thing is awhile back I finished college was a great student in the program I was enrolled in but the dam job hunt is going no where!!!

When I was in school I was so busy I didn't have time to do or think about anything else, but now all I do is hand out resumes and thats it I'm board, scared about the lack of future I see for myself,I feel like I have no one to talk to or to listen to me.

I recently started taking tylonol3's not for physical pain but just for the emotional pain stupid I know but when you don't care anymore whats seems stupid to someone else is normal to you.

 

anyway thanks for listening.

[DiglyD]

Don't be so hard on yourself.

 

Life is life becasue it usually is not what you expected it to be and its definitely not what you envisioned it to be. Thats what makes it so interesting. Its like this for everyone. I too thought I would be married, retired and successful by now.

 

Right when I turned 29 last year I found myself dumped by my girlfriend of 3 years who i thought I would marry and have kids with, laid off from my job, lost my home, got into 3 car accidents and here I am....

 

I'm 29 and I am in a simillar boat as you are. I look at my past and question myself. Many of my friends and acquentances are in the same boat. You are not alone. Most of my friends have not done the things that they thought they would accomplish and they are realizing that what they where taught was not the way to success. This is life. Everyone goes through this.

 

Its a good thing that you are asking yourself these questions. Some people never ask themselves anything and go through life like robots. If you died yes someone would care. You know who? That person that you are destined to meet, and all the people whoose lives you will, and would have touched in the future would never get to experience you and your efforts.

 

You have yourself, and you would miss living. (I know I'm rambling but I will make sense when you get to the end).

 

Remember its YOUR LIFE. No one says that there is a certain way to live it. Its different for everyone. YOur life is a unique road that only you can travel. No one else gets to go on that road with you.

 

When I was 19 I was in junior college and there was this 22 year old guy there about to transfer. I remember I looked at him and said, man how sad is he, still 22 and in junior college. By 22 I will be done, and by 35 I will be rich and retired. Do you think that happened? Of course not. Life happened, and I'm still trying to make things work.

 

I guess what I am trying to say is that life is not all rosy, and its usually not exactly what we envisioned it to be or what we were brainwashed to believe. Life is like this so that we grow stronger and better. if it was all smooth sailing you would be as soft as a kitten. Life is sometimes tough so that you overcome whatever stuff is happening and grow stronger. The stronger you get the more you learn the better your chances of succes. People who have smooth easy going lives are the ones who uasually end up not being able to come with difficulty or hardship.

 

Remember you're not supposed to have anything or accomplish anything by any special time. No one is timing you. You are not competing with anyone except yourself. No one said you have to have a family by 29, or be maried, or have that career where you are climbing the middle managment ladder. Life is different for each and every one of us. Each and every one of us has a different path and you are doing an injustice to yourself by comparing yourself to other people who "seem" to have things figured out. Remember not everything is as it appears. Those people who might be married now, or in careers might not be living these wonderful lives that you think they are. They might have all sorts of problems to deal with that you don't.

 

Many people go through life as if they are already dead. They do the things that society expects them to do, what parents expect them to do and what they think MTV and the news tells them to do. By the time they figure out that its not what they wanted its too late. They have material success but nothing else. Thats not life. Half these people wake up at 40 and realize that they have been living someone elses dream, or that they have done nothing that truly satisfied them. Stop looking and comparing yourself to other people. Don't think that you have to have something done by a certain time. its not true. Your purpose in life is to find your purpose in life and live it. Its not to do something based on someone elses or society's timeline.

 

Some of the most famous people didn't start "LIVING" and making things happen until they reached their early 30s. If you read biographies, or business books on success and entepreneurs most of them did not start gaining momentum or doing things until they found themselves, or failed at many other things and doubthed their very existence.

 

Successful people made many mistakes in their lives and they succeed becasue they learned from their failures. BUT IT TOOK TIME. Some people don't become successful until their late forties or fifties. The people you see who do things like society expects them to do don't make mistakes, live boring lives, and become nothing but statistics of middle america. The live a life based on other people's expectations. They live lives in which they are not happy,, working jobs they hate, only to impress pople who they dislike and who don't care about them in return.

 

Happiness is not a good job, or a family or any of that stuff. Happiness is you doing what you want. You haven't found it and its not exactly too late. You are being way too negative in your thinking. Look at it this way. You are 29 just like me. That means you and I we both have oh at least another 30 years to live before complications might develop health wise. 30 years is a long time. Imagine what you will do? You will find a wife, you will have kids, you will change careers, you will do many things. Statistically its all there, bound to happen.

 

My father came to this country when he was 39 from eastern europe, with nothing, no knowledge of the west, no business skills, and no english skills. In the last 20 years working from a construction cement hauler, to senior dude at INTEL, he managed to buy a big house, work his way up to over 150k, re-mary, buy many cars, and he is still going ready to start his first own business. My father is a smart guy, but like many other people he is a regular guy, with shortcomings and bad habbits. If he can do it we can do it.

 

You got nothing to worry about, so long as you take care of your health.

 

Don't think about the past, don't think about the future, but focus on today. Each day that you live think only of it.

 

Its hard to find work right now for many people, I'm one of those people looking for work and I have 10 years of experience. But its not the end of the world. There is no reason to be scared. The key is to try things until you find what you want. Just pick something and try it. Pick an direction and follow it. If you realize you don't like it change it. Make decisions quickly and fail fast, meaning fail but keep moving. Don't stagnate.

 

DON"T WORRY if you hit setbacks. No matter what happens you are still going to be here living on so why worry? Each difficulty is an opportunity in hiding.

 

Check this out. You should be happy you are not married or with any problems. You could be sitting there with kids worrying how to feed them. You life has not even begun yet. 10 years from now you will look back on what you are going through now and you will think that it was all easy compared to some of the stuff that you will be dealing with like sick children, taking care of babies, dealing with the wife, loosing a home, loosing a high paying career. I have friends who lost their homes in San Diego Last year when half the city burned down. Talk about having dreams go up in smoke. Remember its all about perspective. When you put your life in perspective to what goes on in the world around yo, you will realize you go nothing to worry about. Just say to yourself that you are going to overcome it all and come out on top.

 

Its a good thing that you question your life and accomplishments. It shows that you are trying to find a greater purpose for yourself. You are not satisfied with jsut being average. If you died tomorrow you think no one would care and that you have no one. Well I have had to face this too when my girlfriend and the woman I loved more then myself and anyone else on this planet cheated on me and walked out of my life. I realized I was so alone. When all the bad stuff happened to me this last year, no one helped me, not my father, not my mother, not my friends. I was an am alone. I realized that this is life. I think its is the harderst thing for me to accept. That I am alone and that IT IS UP TO ME TO MAKE THE BEST OF MY LIFE. WE are born alone and we die alone. That is the harsh reality. Even your true love one day will be gone when she passes away. THe key I discovered is doing soemthing so that you leave a memory behind, doing things that leave an impression on this world.

 

If you want to feel a little better about yourself like you did something or that you are contributing something to society, or you have accomplished something, here is a tip.

 

Go find a charity and donate at least $20 a month to it. thats like 4 Starbucks Coffees or 1 weekend of going out with the friends. It will make you feel better. I'm not kidding you. This will help you move forward, and its tax deductible. I was depressed as hell when all that bad stuff happened to me, and nothing was going right in my life. ALl I did was sleep all day and think about my ex. I was going nowhere. Then one night I was surfing the web and found a charity, and I stared giving $50 do a cancer charity and I remember after the first payment I felt so good about myself. Who cares that its not much or that they might use it to buy some notepads for some PHD scientist who makes more money then I do. Its about taking action. The key is that in your mind it will make you feel like you are doing something for the betterment of others, that your actions matter. Also hit the gym in conjunction becasue working out will make you feel less depressed and give you more energy, and don't worry about anything. As long as you do something "anything" you are on the right track. One baby step at a time my friend. That is the key.

 

If you want to talk you can alwasy shoot me an email.

 

I'm rambling on but I hope some of this helps.

[sckoobs]

I'm in pretty much the same boat as you except i'm younger at 22. I wouldn't worry too much about finding a partner because there are a lot of thirty year olds out there who are still looking - that seems to be the common age for some people to want to settle down and start a family.

 

As for the job issuses, I recommend that you do some Volunteering. Get in touch with your local council and they should be able to point you to a Volunteering organisation. The work you do can help a lot of people, you will begin to feel needed and its good experience to put on your CV/Resume. I'm currently Volunteering so that I have something to do with my time besides searching for a job, which can be demoralising, this way I get to use my skills, gain experience, help people out, do some networking - getting to know people who may just recommend you for a job down the line, plus you can put them down as a referee on your CV/Resume.

 

I currently have no girlfriend and having someone to confide in is very important, if you have no family either you can ask about talking to a 'mentor' - again ask your council about this. As for meeting someone special - just put yourself out there more.

 

Just remember that there are always people out there who are willing to help you, no matter what your problem. You have to take the initiative and ask. The first step to solving a problem is admitting that one exists.

 

I agree with the gym thing, and keeping active in general - scientifically it releases chemicals in your blood stream which make you feel better. An active body maintains an active mind.

[psw74]

Hey thanks for the replys gave me alought to think about

it's nice to see there are people out there who are going through the same things.

thanks again

psw74.

[abber99]

I'm 30 years old have an advanced college degree in a strong field, graduated in 2001, and my world is empty and lifeless. I guess I'm just another story to add to the collection. I work at a lowly job and they slashed my hours a little bit so I guess I have to find a lowly part-time job in addition to what I have. Unfortunately, there don't seem to be many types of jobs I can hold onto, perhaps because I have some socialization difficulties maybe because I have Asperger's syndrome or just because I'm different in some ways.

 

Only relatively few girls ever seemed to admire me and those were foreign girls when I was in college and those days are gone. College studies and part-time work consumed nearly all of my time - I thought I could deal with friendships or relationships after college. But now I'm ashamed that my life is lowly and I have nothing to say for myself except what I did in college. I don't know how to make things better.

 

I'm just here to say that I'm also living a nightmare.

[PaulHennessy]

I guess I'm just another story to add to the collection.

 

You can take some comfort is knowing that there are a lot of people in the same boat.

 

i can't help you; you can't help me; and they can't help us.