Valentine day and thinking he is gone for good

[1MoreChance]

I keep thinking that he will come back, that if he really loved me, he wouldn't have left... that I don't want to live my life without him...

 

it hurts still...

 

During the last 2 nights, I have woken up and lied awake thinking (and feeling)... "it,s really over, I am loosing him more and more... I have lost him... he's not coming back..."... but instead of many many tears, I get this empty, black feeling in my chest, like a void and it feels like something is dying... it's really empty and scary...

 

I'm so scared... I don't know what to do... It's the most aweful ever breakup in the world... I don,t think I'll ever feel that way (the way I did for him) for someone else...

[bluexin99]

I'm so sorry to hear this, especially on v-day. Actually, it's already the 15th here (1:09am) so a day after v-day! Well, you are right. If he really loved you, then he wouldn't have left you and the more important thing is that he wouldn't break your heart/make you feel this pain. Since you've been already telling yourself that he's never coming back, then chances are that he's not going to come back. So, apart from releasing yourself out of this agony, what else are you capable of doing?

 

Your title says a lot "thinking he is gone for good". Now, that part of your title implies strength to get yourself through this. Good luck!

[lonehair3]

its been hard for me to... i feel the same way. my ex made me feel things no one else would. its hard for me to look into the future. its scary without her. i have dreams of her coming back to me. but i know in real life. its over. IT SUCKS. i hate admitting it. and when i do, i feel like the void grows bigger. but part of me gains courage, confidence in myself, knowing that this is what is best for BOTH parties, and i try and focus on that.

feelings can mess allot of things up. reality and emotions are two very different beasts to cope with. one might tell you one thing, and the other will tell you something completely contradictory. It hurts, i know. i hate waking up in the morning and not having her next to me. the void grows even bigger. but you know what? dont hold on to your pain, it means nothing, its not worth it. there are so many possibilities that we have in life. so many options. we just dont see it. there is so much to live for, so much happiness, so much love. whats a little pain every now and then compared to that. your the one writing your life. ther are no preset rules, expectations, views, judgements. Only the ones you make for yourself. life is way to short to be miserable. before we know it,its over, so BE HAPPY while your here. and i know its hard now. oh god i know. but now is the time to experiment. realize what makes YOU happy as a person. realize what makes YOU feel good about yourself. rediscover all of those things you once loved. like you told me. its time to make yourself healthy. focus on yourself.

You got this.

[1MoreChance]

thanks lonehair,

 

sorry too that you are hurting...

 

I wish my ex would still want me even tough i hurt him adn even though I even told him Monday that I am not ready and cannot be in a relationhsio right now...

 

what I felt with him was beyond amazing and exquisite and what we shared came fromthe deepest parts of our hearts... I know I'll never find that again with any other man...

 

I too wake up in the night and miss him so much... wonder if he is ok, what he is doing... if he is happy...

 

it's comforting to know that you are there and that you wnet through something similar as I did (or my ex did)... take care of yourself.

[lonehair3]

of course im here

we can relate on many levels. we went through allot of the similar situations. some might have been polar opposites. but none the less, i can relate. you have helped me out allot with your wisdom. i hope that mine can do the same.

today of course the feelings will be harder to deal with. i never really cared much for the holiday. but today, for reasons yet unknown, i feel differently. weird isnt it.