question for those who have been burnt more than once

[sypaman]

This is the 4th time i have been either cheated on, dumped, treated cruelly upon breakup, etc in my life.

 

so my question for those who have felt this pain more than once ...

 

Does it seem the pain and hurt have gotten exponentially worse with each ensueing breakup ? and healing harder ?

 

I was with my son's mom on and off for 14 years ... it took over a full year to get over her ... my current ex , i was with 9 months , yet it seems i've cried more and been even more miserable .. do you think maybe each time it happens it opens up the old wounds too ?

[Umlunguusa]

I'm convinced that sometimes, we continue to get hurt because we set ourselves up. We tell ourselves against better judgment that something won't be the way it originally was, when in fact...it'll just happen again.

 

I was cheated on. three times. and I took her back against me and my friends' better judgment. The first time she called me up to tell me she'd made out with her ex, I should've ran for the hills, no matter how gorgeous or how much I was in love with her.

 

and now...I think, after 5 months, I'm finally at the end of my healing journey. there have been some real ups and almost bipolar downs, but I've come to the conclusion tht sometimes, people are cruel and care only about themselves, not the person who reciprocates their love.

 

Healing is hard; but the good thing about it (there is a good thing to even the worst situations, trust me) it is a teacher more valuable than any verbal warnings that could possibly come up from your peers or friends.

 

I hope this doesn't take too much of a toll on you, as it did to me...but I was feeling suicidal...but have overcome it. hopefully, you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel as I did.

[sypaman]

yeah .. i was feeling suicidal too ... as for the bipolar .. i was actually diagnosed as manic depressive ( what they called bi-polar back in the day , hey i'm old, 46, by most standards on this site , lol ) so these kinds of things are especially tough for me .. if it weren't for my friends , especially the female ones for some reason , i don't know how i'd be.

 

while it's been 4 months since breakup , it's only been one month NC, and wow, while not healed , what a difference ! that and knowing she's with someone else and i'd never be with her again , there's like a finality to it.... it's helping me let go ... and this site has given me comfort too ... i'm getting there .. i have less days crying , i'll get there ....

[Umlunguusa]

Yeah, I spent many days crying. but the more I thought about it, I realised she wasn't an ex for nothing. I mean, as hard as it is letting go, sometimes it's the best thing to do.

 

It's sort've like Heroin--it feels great the few times you do it, then, when you realize it's bad for you, you try to quit, and in quitting it, you go through withdrawals, sweats, chills, weight loss, depression, etc.--but when you've finally got the monkey off your back, you feel free as a bird

[Rainz]

This is the 4th time i have been either cheated on, dumped, treated cruelly upon breakup, etc in my life.

 

so my question for those who have felt this pain more than once ...

 

Does it seem the pain and hurt have gotten exponentially worse with each ensueing breakup ? and healing harder ?

 

I was with my son's mom on and off for 14 years ... it took over a full year to get over her ... my current ex , i was with 9 months , yet it seems i've cried more and been even more miserable .. do you think maybe each time it happens it opens up the old wounds too ?

 

I would say in my experience, yes to both.

 

The last time I was dumped, everything that I had worked so hard to get over from past relationship failures, all the old wounds were opened and the old hurts came back on top of the new one....