Pysal131 Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 I dont know what to do anymore. I'm so lost. I went up to see my girlfriend a couple weeks ago, and we had the best time. I get home (3 hours after i just saw her) and we talk. Things are great! We're doing good. A couple days later i bring up a sore topic between us having to do with her dancing with guys and drinking with them and stuff. She says she doesnt want to check in or tell me when shes going places and stuff because she feels like its tying her down. I say that im not telling her to ask permission, just to let me know when shes out with guys. Kind of a security thing. We end up blowing it way out or proportion and it becomes a huge fight. We break up like 4 days later. I know that shouldnt have been the end of "us", but she hasnt come home since then and i feel i need to see her in person to have the best results of an encounter. I dont know what to do to make her remember what we had that was so much more important than a stupid issue! We talk all the time and occasionally i bring it up, but we never make any progress on anything. I need advice. Thanks. Link to comment
roxy_babygurl13 Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 firstly, all i want to say is i know what you must be going through! being apart from the one you love is possibly one of the worst things a person could go through! Secondly, being in a relationship with you at the time....... she shouldnt have been going out dancing and drinking with other guys WITHOUT you ! i did that in my past relationship and ended up cheating on my ex which is why i joined this site in the first place, because it ruined my strong relationship and i havent fell out of love with the guy since ! and strangely enough he wont take me back ! we have been broken up for almost 4 months, and for the first time in a while i am seeing him one-on-one tonight to hopefully reconcile our relationship which was destroyed because of MY actions. if you do end up getting back together with her, your relationship should probably involve more 'quality time' for the two of you doing things TOGETHER instead of apart. good luck with everything and i hope it all works out well for the two of you ! Link to comment
Pysal131 Posted February 23, 2004 Author Share Posted February 23, 2004 I appreciate that, and when she came home everything we did was together. However shes away at college, and thats a lot of driving every weekend for a high school kid Link to comment
Athena Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 I'm sorry that you are going through that. It's really heart breaking to have to deal with hurtful conflicts. I'm assuming that she is in her first year of college - away from home for the first time? If that's the case, I think you need to be more understanding of the situation if you want to continue to be with her. As far as you know, she hasn't cheated on you. It's quite possible that she loves you more than life and won't cheat on you, and she is just enjoying her college experience by going out and hooting it up - that's what college kids do. I think if you try and take that away from her, she will resent you for it and the relationhship will end eventually. So, it's really your call as far as whether or not what she is doing (as long as its not cheating on you) while you are not together, is ok with you. If it isn't then you should stop seeing her and not ask her to stop what she is doing. As Rozy said, drinking and dancing often times leads to "encounters" especially at that age. There is a chance she might do that - but then again, maybe she won't because she love you. You don't know at this point and assuming that she is going to do something bad and so thereforeeee asking her not to go out is conveying your mistrust. Unfortunately, sometimes we have to give people enough rope to hang themselves if they choose to do so. Give her room to do what she wants and if she cheats on you - better to know that about her now then 5 years from now. The other thing, I'm little confused about you saying, " I dont know what to do to make her remember what we had that was so much more important than a stupid issue! " - when in fact - YOU are the one bringing up and pushing the issue??? -A Link to comment
Pysal131 Posted February 25, 2004 Author Share Posted February 25, 2004 I think you're misunderstanding the situation, but thank you for your help regardless, its truly nice to have someone trying to understand and concieve a plan We already broke up over an issue that was dead, but she said that the fact that the issue ever came up turned her off to the relationship. Link to comment
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