He needs space, how long should I wait?

[nadine_3110]

So recently my bf and I had a disagreement, some of you might have read it already. But basically he feels like he's in a box, like I'm restricting him from doing the things he wants to do. He tells me that when he plays video games for a long time (and doesn't spend time with me), I make him feel guilty because I get upset.

 

Anyway, I told him I would try to fix it and I tried to get close to him and I could sense something was still wrong. I asked what was wrong and he said that he just needed some space. So I haven't seen or spoken to him since Saturday (when he told me he wanted space) and I was just wondering how long is long enough to wait for me to call him. I really want to talk to him because I know that this silence from him isn't solving anything.

 

So should I just wait till he calls? Or can I call him to talk?

[KitKatt]

wait for as long as he needs you to. If he is feelin smoothered, the last thing he needs is someone on him about how much time he needs. You can also wait until you get tired of waiting and then move on if he hasnt contacted you within a reasonable amount of time. say a few weeks.

[thejigsup]

I'd say the average guy, when asking for space, needs a month minimum. Two is more like it. If you can't deal with that, and that's for you to decide, then move on. It's his loss.

[Comatose]

Video games can become a serious addiction. They can take over your entire life if you let them. Not saying this is the case in this situation - but just know that your concerns are valid, because despite what a lot of guys try to tell girls, it's more than just a game. It's psychological. It's a mentality, and an irresponsible "escapist" attitude.

 

He should feel guilty if he's putting games before you. There's no way you can restrict a grown man from doing what he wants to do - unless you tie him up or threaten him with a weapon. I doubt you're doing any of that - it's his choice what he does with his life. If he's not doing the things that make him happy it's HIS fault, not yours. But blaming you is easy because it makes him feel better about himself and also gives him control and power over you.

 

He knows that by saying he needs space that will make you want to talk to him and work out the problem, or atleast find out what he's thinking. That's the whole point - another power trip. This is because generally speaking women are better listeners and problem solvers. Don't give him anymore power over you than he already has! When a guy asks for space - give him a taste of his own medicine and wait for him to contact YOU. There might be that fear that he won't ever contact you - but doing this will prove to you his true feelings.

 

It's easy to hide behind video games - one big flaw hides all the little ones. And it's the little ones (men in particular) are afraid of.

 

Again - you're better than this. Don't contact him. If he wants space when you're just trying to work things out - find something better to do. You seem like a smart girl so that shouldn't be too hard for you.