Anyone who has broken up please HELP!

[no6]

I will not bore you with the details suffice to say that my 8 months of marriage have been an absolute hell for me, but complete heaven to my new wife. She loves me dearly and is a wonderful girl, but for me there is no chemistry there and I cannot return these feelings of love, so am not committing to her fully. I need to tell her that I cannot carry on living together, but just do not know how to? Not wanting to upset her has sucked me into the marriage in the first place. Yes it sounds like I am a cruel so and so but I treat her like a princess and don't want any harm to come to her. What to do? Don't want to upset her yet cannot carry on living in a marriage that I am not committed to.

Have considered counselling and went along for a session but they were honest and simply said that it is with my wife that I should be talking. I KNOW, BUT HOW???? Please somebody who has been through this offer some sympathetic help!

[EclipseXkim621]

Wow, you really sound like an all around caring guy. But at the same time, carrying her into all this is very selfish. I understand your side to it though....i think that you need to act..and fast...You say that you dont want to bring her any harm, but leading her onto all this....is probably a lot worse then breaking the truth to her. This situation has gone on far too long, and you both deserve to go on and be happy. My advice is that you prepare yourself for her to be upset...(WHO wouldnt be?) and tell her how you feel. You can't expect her to still be "friends" with you after the situation...but there is a possibility...it depends on the person she is. But Please---break the news to her....at least so she can eventually get past it and be happy, and also...so you can be happy too! Prepare for the after feelings, and get to it asap as hard as it may be...it will all be for the best.. good luck

[marc88]

Just the fact that your thinking about her feelings first shows that your a great guy But when you really think about it, you have put yourself and your happyness in first priority. If you are really not in love and are just faking it, MOVE ON!!!! It' better for both of you in the long run.

Just be careful on how you break it down to her cause she seems to really love you....

Think of your happyness and you'll know what to do!

[tosing]

You can't make yourself love someone. Period. Counseling isn't going to bring about chemistry; don't waste your time or money. I was in your position before, and after six years, I found the courage to tell him. That was a long time, but I had to do it. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life miserable. It will hurt her, but its only fair. So tell her:

-why you married her

-why you think staying married isn't a good idea

 

You must learn how to say "No". Worrying about her feelings got you into this, but you must always consider your own feelings -- especially if it involves a LIFE contract.

 

Best of luck