can't decide about asking girl out

[ddriver7]

Hi everyone! I just joined and I need advice. I'm in high school, and theres this girl I've been friends with for a little while now. We're not really close friends, I've only seen her at school so far. Lately we've been flirting with each other a lot and even joke around about going out. For some reason I can't tell if she likes me or just wants to be friends. Sometimes I think she does like me because she started talking to me and flirting when I didn't really know her at all.

 

Things seemed to get more serious yesterday when I gave her a gift for Valentine's Day. I want to ask her out but I'm not positive if she feels the same. She has a lot of male friends so maybe she just sees me as another. I guess I'm waiting for some kind of signal, but I'm affraid if I wait too long she might think I'm not interested. I also don't want to get too close as friends because it would be weird asking her out later on.

 

What are your thoughts? How should I go about asking her out? Any advice would be appreciated.

[Jurassicj]

ok, ask her out! who cares if shes not interested and if she says no, keep your confidence up and just go threw with it, if you dont you will just be regretting it until you do. And why would you feel weird later on if yall become close friends? Great long lasting relationships usually start with a great foundation, as close friends.

[ddriver7]

Thanks for the response. I wouldn't feel weird, I guess I'm affraid it would be awkward trying to continue being friends if she turned me down or if it didn't work out. I feel like I'm overthinking everything so I'll take your advice and just ask her out, I just have to figure out how.

[just_smile]

hey

i would ask her out

 

remember

'he who ask is a fool for 5 minutes, and he who remains silent is a fool forever''

 

~LJ =;

[joe83]

I know what you are going through, I did the same thing in High School. I regret not asking certain girls out. I just did it for the first time in college, and it really isn't that bad. Just brace for a no... and if possible do it when you two are alone.

 

--Joey

[ddriver7]

Sorry I never responded. I just wanted to say that I asked her out and she turned me down. She basically said she likes me but since we argue a lot it wouldn't work out. She obviously thought this through because she didn't even have to think about it. The thing that bothers me is that we don't really argue about important things or anything, we just kind of joke around. I just don't understand why she would constantly flirt and even give me her number and then turn me down.

 

Do you guys think I should try to convince her that it could work out, or should we just continue being friends? Thanks.

[Doctor Menard]

Sorry I never responded. I just wanted to say that I asked her out and she turned me down. She basically said she likes me but since we argue a lot it wouldn't work out. She obviously thought this through because she didn't even have to think about it. The thing that bothers me is that we don't really argue about important things or anything, we just kind of joke around. I just don't understand why she would constantly flirt and even give me her number and then turn me down.

 

Do you guys think I should try to convince her that it could work out, or should we just continue being friends? Thanks.

This woman is not physically/sexually/romantically attracted to you. If she was, it wouldnt matter to her if you guys argued 24-7, she would move mountains to touch your face. Thats the way lots of attractive women are, especially the ones who have multiple male friends. They love to flirt, talk on the phone, ect, they LOVE male attention. Put yourself in her shoes. Imagine 500 girls at your beck and call all day and night. Wouldnt you get off on it?

[Apoc220]

Heres the deal bro:

When you meet a girl for the first time, she gives you the once over. This is the physical attraction test. Ive read that in the first 45 seconds a woman meets a person she can analyze a lot about them just by giving them the once over. She can tell if you're shy, confident, etc. With this girl, it seems that you might have passed the physical part, but as time went on you became one of the many in her book. Many times when a girl has a lot of male friends that claw over her it gets pretty old, but when you shine above the rest and subtly seduce her and intrigue her, I guarantee you will come out on top.

You messed up with this girl, its obvious. If I were in your shoes, I would just go about my business and find someone else. Next time you feel like asking a girl out, DO IT! Many of us have waited too long only to have the girl lose interest. Just because a girl flirts with you doesnt mean she likes you. The girls that crave for male attention are "sunshine girls", they are always flirting and fooling around. These are the type of girls who you dont wanna try and get into something with if you are looking for a serious, trusting relationship.

[ddriver7]

Thanks guys. I do know I messed up with her, which is why we are just friends now and I should be dating her friend soon - someone who is much better for me. I moved on about a month ago, and it was one of the smarter things I've done.

 

Its amazing that it took me this long to realize that she was that kind of girl. I really don't like girls who flirt and lead guys on. It must be nice to be able to be in that position. Just imagine how many guys she carelessly flirts with think she likes them. Oh, and I forgot to add that I've known her for about 6 months and I just found out she has a boyfriend two days ago! Apparently he's a "long distance" boyfriend, but still, she never mentioned or implied anything about him once! I'm supposed to be her friend and she never told me, which is what bothers me the most. She was probably trying to keep me "in her book" in case she broke-up with him, along with probably dozens of other guys.

 

Anyway, thanks for opening my eyes a little more. I knew she was that kind of girl, but it never really hit me until you guys made it clear. And lately we haven't even gotten along that well. So at this point, I really don't even want to stay friends with her. Just seeing how she is around other guys in front of me is really annoying. I'm sorry, but girls like this just anger me.

 

I'd rather have a serious relationship with a nice girl than mess around with 20 different girls whom with nothing could happen. Its unfair to everyone involved. But thats just me... Thanx again.

[TheBigBalbowski]

It sounds like you have matured very well. Congrats on the bold step and its good that you have a new girl who suits you better anyway.