Long distance relationship from Portugal to Australia

[y-comet1607306449]

Hi everyone.

 

I'm writing to this forum because I just want to share my love experience, but I would also love to hear some comment. I met the first woman of my life about a year and a half ago. I had never been in love before (at least nothing significant) and I had not dates at all during all my life. I had never even kissed anyone else before. But it happened that when a friend of mine introduced to her, some strange feeling went though my mind, something like I knew she was the one. We started talking a lot. We would chat for hours on the Internet, and we would spend some time on the phone too. Later, she started going out with my group of friends, and in no time, I was asking for her hand. He got together, and time passed by. Lots of good stuff happened... Lots of bad stuff happened... But I always learned with my mistakes, and I always tried to make her learn with her mistakes as well. I can surely say we had a wonderful relationship, and I spent my best times ever with her.

But life can be very unfair some times. She is Australian. She was living in Portugal just until she could go to college, in Australia. That was her objective before knowing me. She tried to apply to Portugal, but she wouldn't make it where she wanted. She would have better chances in Australia. I told her to go. We made that choice together.

So it happened. About a month ago, I took her to the airport. Only we know the tears we shed eachother before we last kissed and shared words of comfort and promisses... Things are very different now. Nights out are not the same. Cold days are so anoying. I remember the times I used to grab her, and hug her, and give her my warmth, and she would kiss me tenderly like no one else could. I love to remember all those good things, but sometimes I can't help avoiding remembering the bad things we went through. I spend long nights without sleeping, because those awful thougths just keep coming, and I will spend the whole night crying, knowying that I can't call her whenever I need a word from her. Seeing her with other people is still difficult to accept, because over here she didn't have a very large social circle. She has a good friend, whom she had a crush on a few times ago, and when they are both on the Internet and chat for hours, I just feel like arguing, and sometimes I even want to kill the guy. When I'm having this kind of feelings and I can't talk to anyone, sometimes I grab a knife and cut myself. It's such a relief, but in the meantime I also know my girlfriend gets worried when I tell her I did such a thing.

Well, that's pretty much it. I'm in college right now, her classes are also about to start, and if everything goes as I'm expecting, I will go to Sydney next year and spend a month with the love of my life, and I'll have to do that for five long years. I hope I can survive it, because sometimes it is really difficult.

 

If you would like to chat, use messenger, please. I have a permament connection, and I'm online most of the time.

 

A big thank for everyone who read this!

Nuno

[SwingFox]

Hi Nuno,

 

I am sorry to hear that you have to go through all this. I hope you will find comfort in my words. I always say that good things will come to those who will wait. Your love for her will grow as she is away and hers will, as well. If you feel down, I would suggest you talk to your g/f and tell her how you feel. Ask her if she'd reassure you again. I am sure that she loves you as much to do that. Then I'd tell her how happy she makes you.

 

I hope this helps you some. Try not to cut yourself. It doesn't benefit you, in fact only hurt you. I also would suggest not telling her that you did. You might scare her with your thoughts.

 

Good luck ...

 

~ SwingFox ~

[Olivia]

Hello Nuno!

I have a long-distance relationship too but we´re "only" 2000 km apart. We´ve been together for 11 months now and we both believe we have found "the one". We´ve had some issues, our culture and education is very different in some points and sometimes we argue about those things, but at least we can talk about it, and communication is one of the most important things in a relationship. However, since this kind of relationship is already straining, sometimes it´s better to talk to a friend and avoid stressing out our partner. It is very difficult at times, especially for me because I live alone and work at home, so I feel lonely sometimes, but please don´t despair. It is important to have some common goals, talk about the future, but try enjoy what you have, plan your next holiday together, and don´t stay home when she´s not here; go out with friends, find new interests. This way, you´ll keep busy and you´ll have more things to tell her. You can´t place your happiness on her alone, you have to be happy for yourself first. And don´t obsess about the bad things, focus on the good points!

All the best.

Olivia

[y-comet1607306449]

Well... Haven't been here for a while, but I was recently surfing on the web and I found out this post. Olivia and SwingFox: thank you so much for your replies, you were both absolutely right.

Anyways, sometimes a long-distance relationship is wonderful to show 2 persons they were definitely not made for each other, and that was my case.

I broke up with my ex- girlfriend more than a year ago, and we haven't had a conversation ever since, just circumstancial talking from time to time, which has been decreasing and is now reduced to nearly zero.

No more nights spent in clear thinking about her, no more tears, I've moved on well, and I guess I can say I am more mature and definitely out of those childish attitudes I told on my first post.

Oh, but let me state clear: I'm not dissencouraging long-distance relationships. Mine didn't work, but as we can see, many are working well, so...

Be fine, be happy