Does she want to see me or not? I'm confused....

[Tyggg6]

A mutual friend of ours tried to get us to meet or go on a date. I finally met her at a christmas party on dec. 22. As far as i could tell it went well. I asked her if she wanted to hang out again twice and both times she quickly responded with "yes"..she even went on to tell me when she would be back from out of town christmas stuff.

 

Before we met she hung out with our mutual friend and was telling her she was excited to meet me and even then said she would like to hang out with me. It should be noted that at that meeting she said she was "seeing someone" for the past 6 months but still wanted to hang out. she even message me the weekend before the party and asked if i wanted to meet her/friends that night. She literally physically made quotation gestures when saying "seeing".

 

cut to tonight and i still have not heard from her. so i sent her a nice message...and still nothing...i am out in the country and had my computer on sleep mode and noticed she was online for like 3 hours....she even changed her facebook to say "no longer listed as single" even though it never did before and she erased the change off her page (i saw it on the news feed).

 

Now i am confused....does she not want to see me? It seems like i am just going to get ignored...but i would hope after talking a bit and meeting and the excitement she would just say "not interested" or something????

 

what is going on????

[Tyggg6]

i'm a total loser and replying to my own thread on a saturday night. she just responded as i typed the above.

 

now i'm even more confused...but their is a crack of light...i don't want to "mow another guys lawn" as they say..i'm just not that kind of guy...

 

she basically told me in her words:

- she's in an awkward situation romantically seeing guy 6 months

- he is a little "sketchy" but she is giving it a fair shot

 

- i surprise her with interesting things and she thinks i'm really "interesting"

- she loved the stupid gift i gave her when we met

- she thinks i should come by her room sometime to see the shell and drink serbian moonshine (she's serbian obviously)

 

then she gave me her cell phone number.

 

 

WHAT THE HELL DO I DO NOW????? i REALLY like this girl. and our mutual friend said we are perfect for each other and that's the only reason i got in touch with her.

 

I feel if i pursue i can get her. i just don't know if i want to do that with another guy involved...but she doesn't seem into him and i know me and this girl need to even just hang out a few times then i can tell her to decide or something...crap!!!!!

[waveseer]

Why don't you tell her you'd really like to stop by and to let you know when she's out of her current relationship?

[Tyggg6]

that's exactly what i am most likely going to say..i wish she told me this like 1.5 months ago or when she said she wanted to hang out soon.

 

this stinks. i've never been in this position before. i don't date around that much..i'm a relationship kinda guy..i usually spend like a year focusing on myself and my small business then pursue when someone really catches my eye..she did. she is the smartest person i have met in awhile.

 

the sane normal part of my brain says to tell her to talk when she is single. the other greedy part says hang out with her once and see if anything is even there....that's the other thing, is we have only talked for 1.5 hours...i may not even like her as much as i think i do,etc..but i will never know unless i hang out...but my intentions have been revealed so i'm screwed morally.

[waveseer]

You are not screwed morally if you don't follow through until she's single. Don't try to hedge your bets by hanging out with her before she's single, that IS morally screwed up.

[imsuperman]

Yeah, I've been feeling the same way about girl who is taken. I just ignore her. She knew what I wanted, strung me along, and didn't care. Too bad for her.

 

Believe me, it's difficult, but usually it's necessary. What you need to do right now now is show her that you won't wait. Pursue other women. It is by no means fair to you that she gets to be romantic with her boyfriend while she strings you along and keeps you as a backup and you get no action out of it.

 

If she asks you why, tell her you aren't looking for a "friend."

 

Again, I know it's difficult, but you need to take a stand here.

[Tyggg6]

i agree totally. i have only met her once for a few hours at a party before i knew she was seeing anyone. she said she wanted to hang out soon, after pursuing this is when she mentioned it..

 

i sent her an email last night basically saying - i'm really into you and it sucks that you have a boyfriend and i don't want to interfere with any of that. I'm making my position quite clear. i don't need more friends.