Used up and tired-but I still want to fix this marriage.

[ladykross]

I have been married for one year, (with him for three) and I am at a loss as to what I should do with this marriage. My husband is a stay at home dad who searches the internet for "Adult Friend" Sites. He actually contacts the women. I do not know if he meets them, at this point I really do not care. This has been an ongoing problem for the three years we have been together. I have tried talking, leaving, threatining, everything I can actually think of except divorcing him. I know he has had physical affairs, and when I catch him (either cyber or actual) he denies it and denies it until I show him proof. He always tells me how sorry he is. I know he is not. He has ruined my credit with spending habits and caused a great deal of anxiety in our relationship (and my family as well).

 

My daughter loves him so much-I just can't bring myself to separate them. And I am pregnant again with his next child. I want this to stop. I want things to get better-but he will not go to marriage counseling becuase he thinks "nothing is wrong with our marriage". If there was nothing wrong, why the other women, the lies and the money spending issues? I do make sense, right?

 

I have no friends now, becuase of this. They all hate him, so I do not have anyone to talk to. He does not hit me, but I still feel like I have been beat up. I am only 26, and I feel so old.

 

So I guess what I am asking is this:

 

Is there hope? What can I do to make it better? Can I make it better?

 

~LadyKross

[S4il]

No Problem go here to search for it, I'm pretty sure it free, and it allows you to BLOCK any web site, not just the dirty ones...

 

link removed

 

link removed

 

Search the search bar for Cyber sitter, or you can put your own password onthe Interenet Icon itself...so when he clicks it a "log in" account, name/password window will pop up, that will fix him good!

[ladykross]

Well, I hate to tell you-I did that. For four months we had no computer or internet. I thought we had finally kicked it. We have been back online for 23 days and he already started back up. So much for treating him like a child and grounding him.

 

Cyber Sitter??? That is one I have not tried. I think I just might.

 

Thank you!

[routerx]

You need to get other people involved in this. How can you fix the problem if he believes there is no problem at all?

 

I would strongly suggest that you and your husband begin getting out to social events more. Mix with the community. Hopefully, his behaviour will adjust when he hangs around other people and their patterns begin to reflect upon him. He sounds so isolated from reality.

 

So, I would first suggest that you plan at least 1 night a week in a social setting, be it sports (bowling), church, or whatever.

 

Beyond that, I really think a professional needs to get involved.

 

You need to remember that things can change, but only HE can change them. You need to find a way to get him in positive experiences.