Band_Nerd Posted December 26, 2008 Share Posted December 26, 2008 My ex and I talked today...and yeah, he's still a jerk (that's just putting it nicely, don't ask why I still talk to him. Well, him being a jerk still is helping me to get over him) but, he did give me some advice. I'm not going to change from my miserable state I'm in now, unless I chose to do so. I have to do it myself, and that I have to grow up. And...he's actually right. But...I'm not sure how to dig myself out of this hole. I don't want to be sad and missing him anymore, but I don't know how to go about doing so. I mean, I've tried going out more often, and it helps for a brief time, but the happiness never really stays. Link to comment
waveseer Posted December 26, 2008 Share Posted December 26, 2008 I wasn't able to complete the healing process until I accepted that the relationship was over 100%. It was done. Then I started to make decisions about how to think about it differently and my feelings resolved. Link to comment
Band_Nerd Posted December 26, 2008 Author Share Posted December 26, 2008 I wasn't able to complete the healing process until I accepted that the relationship was over 100%. It was done. Then I started to make decisions about how to think about it differently and my feelings resolved. I think I'm almost 100 percent there, so maybe I'm on the right path Link to comment
waveseer Posted December 26, 2008 Share Posted December 26, 2008 I think I'm almost 100 percent there, so maybe I'm on the right path You probably are, just keep trudging. Link to comment
High5girl Posted December 26, 2008 Share Posted December 26, 2008 Cut this man out of your life. You said so yourself, he's a jerk. This man is taking up valued time in your life. You won't feel better completely until he's out of the pic. You will miss him at first, but as time goes by....you will or should feel better. Link to comment
Band_Nerd Posted December 26, 2008 Author Share Posted December 26, 2008 Cut this man out of your life. You said so yourself, he's a jerk. This man is taking up valued time in your life. You won't feel better completely until he's out of the pic. You will miss him at first, but as time goes by....you will or should feel better. That's another thing too...I don't know how to cut him out of my life. I feel like I need him there. We've know each other for about 4 years, went out for 1 year and a half, and I don't know really how to go without him. Link to comment
franfran Posted December 26, 2008 Share Posted December 26, 2008 You really just have to find it in yourself. Find the good in the situation (there is ALWAYS good!!) and go from there. I also agree with ready2heal...I think it's much harder to allow yourself to be happy if you haven't accepted that it's over yet. I think you are though! And quit talking to the jerk!!! Link to comment
Band_Nerd Posted December 27, 2008 Author Share Posted December 27, 2008 You really just have to find it in yourself. Find the good in the situation (there is ALWAYS good!!) and go from there. I also agree with ready2heal...I think it's much harder to allow yourself to be happy if you haven't accepted that it's over yet. I think you are though! And quit talking to the jerk!!! Well, it's like I told High5girl, I've known this guy for about 4 years...and it's very difficult to stop talking to him. I'm only able to do it for a month or so, and then I break down and talk to him again. And, I think I have mostly accepted it, which is a good thing. Link to comment
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