I want to find my happiness again

[Aday5578]

I went through a really rough break-up and loss in my family about a year and 1/2 ago. I have actually been healing pretty well. So well that at times I felt guilty but better all at the same time.

 

I started taking better care of myself, eating right and working out..basically just getting on with my life. Back in September I met somebody who I had an immediate connection with, we started dating. Over the past 3 months I learned he wants this relationship on his terms and his terms only, at 1st I just figured we were taking it really slow, which I was all for. Then as time went on I realized he only wanted me when it was convienent for him, sorry to be so vague, but that is not the point of writng this entry. We decided to call it a day on Saturday, though I am sad I just feel like here I am again. Of course I am not totally hurt and crying, but it is disappointing to me. At times I feel as though it is me...like I am the one with a problem.

 

Sometimes I dont know what I want anymore..when I am at work or with friends or family I could care less about not having somebody to call for no reason or sit ont eh couch and do nothing with, but on these dreary days when it si raining outside and nothing on tv....I miss having somebody. Even when I had that guy before, I didnt really have him....only when he wanted me did I have anything. I blame myself for letting him do that to me....I allowed him to do it...

 

I want things to be different..I want to start anew, but just dont knwo how..I guess when the weather is better and I get my butt out of bed I will figure it all out like i did before.

[catfeeder]

So glad to hear that you're not settling for being someone's background girl. Rather than hold regrets, consider it a useful rebound thing--a private lesson that taught you more about what you do want and what you definitely don't want.

 

You can be confident that you'll never settle again, and that's good news--some people never get there.

 

In your corner.

[Anotherday]

Well, good for you for not settling. You are still way young and can find someone better suited to you.

 

I wish I could help you find your happiness again, but I am sort of lost myself. Best wishes for a better New Year.