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My boyfriend and I are in a very long distance relationship as we both moved from our hometown this year (me to the US, him to Asia). We've been together three years now and I've been wanting to break up for a while now.


I recently went to visit and realized that the only reason I'm still with him is out of habit. He's my first boyfriend and I've just gotten use to having him around. I'm definitely not in love with him.


But I can't bring myself to do it right now because he's in a rut financially and needs my help while he gets back on his feet (his family can't help him). If I break up with him now, not only will he be devastated but he will be completely stuck in a foreign country. Also, since we've been together so long, I feel like it would be wrong to do it over the phone. Then again, I don't know how much longer I can drag this out. He likes to talk about our future together and it makes me kinda sad as I just don't see him in it. What am I supposed to do?

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Did you know how you felt before you found out he was/ might be leaving?


Don't freak out thinking all of it has to fall into place at once.


Sort of create a removed-from-the-situation view of things like you're advising someone else. I wrote down everything I was thinking recently as I got dumped in a ridiculous way, and eventually, my writing lost first person and became as if I were counseling us all, then just others. It jsut seemed like I was writing a book on something I knew a lot about. Any pain went away as it was the perfect therapy. The answers came from within. (I'll say that a lot b/c it's true.) This is how you get the m out. No real need to ask others. You'll find you're smarter than you thought.

Filled a lot of notebooks too.


Now she's desperate to find someone, incidentally; but, I feel fine. Life is good.

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So, why do you want to break up with your boyfriend? Is it because of the distance, or is there another reason?


Distance (we have a 13 hour time difference) and doubts. We've been together three and a half years and I feel like I should be sure about us now but I'm not. I want to break up because I feel like it's unfair to him. But I don't know how or when. There's no one else.

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