Question for guys? Would you think it's odd that i've never..

[sns256]

g84 I have never experienced those things either. Probably for the exact same reason as you, for not getting out there and looking. Yes the thoughts make you feel bad, but you can’t let them run your life. If you are unhappy all the time, and you do get out there, people are going to pick up on your unhappiness, and there is a good chance you won’t find someone.

 

Learn to be happy with yourself. You are who you are, and you can’t change your past. I read in another thread that you are dealing with social anxiety right now. I would work on that first. I probably have some SA myself too, and I am working on it right now. I thought as well every time I went out someone is going to try and hurt me, I still do sometimes. You have to try and realize that most people don’t want to hurt you. Just be happy with yourself, and make yourself available.

 

So far I am having great success these days using what I have wrote above. Last night I was out at a house party with a house full of girls I didn’t know. It was the first time ever I was in that situation that I wasn’t really anxious, and probably had the best time of my life. I actually enjoyed myself for one of the first times ever, socializing like that. If you look like your enjoying yourself, people seem to like coming up and talking to you. I was just comfortable about myself, and didn’t really care what they thought about me. Last night was the first time ever I held a girls hand, and was the first time I have ever hugged a girl. I know it doesn’t sound like much to a lot of people, but it was huge for me. My friends at the end of the night said I could have probably picked one of them up. I am still pretty clueless on that kind of stuff. LOL

 

What I am trying to say, with enough work even I can improve myself. You definitely can too. All it takes is a little bit of an attitude adjustment. Please remember that our inexperience should not be a deal breaker for anyone that we want to be in a relationship with. To get the experience we have to find someone who will accept us for who we are. Don’t be disheartened if you find someone who does reject you because of your inexperience, they are not worth your time. Eventually we will find someone, just be positive about it.

[Cloudyday]

To you personally, it might feel bad that you haven't been in a relationship but it is normal since it's perceived as being somewhat a minority. However, like what everyone else has said, it's really not a big deal. You sound like you're true to yourself, not forcing the issue, nor accepting people who you don't really feel a connection with. I think this is a truly admirable quality. You just haven't found the right person yet and the right person hasn't found you.

[Clarity]

g84, I recently dated a girl who was your age and who eventually told me that she had never been in a relationship longer than one month and that that had only happened a couple of times. I was coming from the opposite end of the spectrum, having only been in one relationship, that was almost 7 years long. It didn't really matter, we got along well and I considered myself just lucky to have been able to meet her. It didn't last, in the end it wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but that had nothing to do with her lack of experience.

 

I will say this: the only time it was kind of weird was after we had been dating for over a month and she sent me a txt saying that this was now her longest relationship. She was just marking a milestone in a humorous way, but it did set off little alarm bells for me...