Raped !!!!!

[lil_unique_me]

when i was just a small girl of 11 i was raped by a man that i trusted. my maths teacher.

a few years went by and eventually because of other problems i was referred to a counsellor. where the whole debacle came out. out of obligation and no matter how much i pleaded they had to tell the police. i went throught the whole thing in an interview with social workers and then the police. they then contacted him to come in and answer some questions but when he didnt turn up they went around to his house and they found his body. he had commited suicide!!!!

i cant help feeling guilty about it even now- to know that i caused a mans death!!!!

also i recently learned that whilst i was being raped week after week after week my mum was having an affair with my now step dad!!!!

Im at my wits end because i can always see his face wherever i go. its as though he is just biding his time until he can ruin my life again!!!

he already has though in a way because he took away something that i can never get back and also i no longer trust any men at all and its ruined countless relationships!!!

pm me with any advice please!!

Thanks xxx

[kuhl282000]

Sorry that happened to you .....I know for a fact you did nothing, and you have to find a way to forgive yourself over time. The evil person that did this to you had a choice. We all have choices, and even when we say we don't have a choice. That is a choice unto it's self. Yes, what this man did was horrible. And he choose to take his own life, because he could not find another way to process the guilt he was carrying around, he had other choices and options.He choose poorly. This was none of your own doing. I would suggest you continue professional advice, until you feel that you have worked your way through it. I would not bring this stuff in any future relationships, I could see that it could cause a wide range of problems. The good news is you are talking and seeking help. I have know a few women in my time that were raped by their father and never told anyone. So I know the earlier you seek help, the sooner you get it. And your doing the right thing. And remember you did nothing wrong. Be kind to yourself, and learn how to forgive this man and yourself for his wrong doing and from your guilt. You will be fine in time. Forget the past and move on we can't change it, we can only learn from it.

 

My you find Peace !!!!!

 

Warm Regards

Kuhl

[sphinx999]

I can totally relate to you on this, I managed to persuade them not to tell the police in my case. When a person takes their life it is thewir choice and their fault, people usually admit full responsibility before the kill themselves. It was not your fault he did what he did, and he proberly commited suicide,

1. because he regretted it

2. because other things in his life were wrong

3. because he was ashamed of what he did and knew he had taken away something special from you and thought his death was the only way to repay it.

Be happy

sphinx999

[routerx]

I think this may be a case where you want to get professional assistance.

 

You need to remember that this is a loving world and you need to search that love out, especially in your case by surrounding yourself by loving men. Loving by the fact they are caring and friendly.

 

May I make a few suggestions?

 

Join a volunteer group with men in it, such as Americorps, or something like that. Over time, I think your trust will be rebuilt.

 

The key is to not isolate yourself.

 

There are bad women, there are bad men, that will never go away. But, you can choose to be a good woman and I can assure you that you will attract good men if you participate in positive events.

 

We can only control our own actions on this earth. I'm sorry to hear that men who could not control themselves got involved with your life.

[lil_unique_me]

i just want tosay thankyou to everyonefrtheir advice.

i will take it all intomy mind and process it!!!

lil_unique_me xxx

[anomaly]

What seems to be overlooked here is the slightest possibility that something isn't quite accurate.

 

By that I mean everything you've just assumed.

 

These events, such as they are, can also mess up your life, so please be careful.

 

 

(mind you, just possibility, not certainty)

[lil_unique_me]

u need to tell me what on earth you are on about. ive looked back and cant fine anything that you are referring to.

some clearer info needed please

[dfger468iyyrf]

why should you feel guilty about a dirty old man.. just think about what he did to you and how much that hurt you. he only did that not because he was guilty otherwise he would have done it long ago but because he was scared he was scared like you were scared!! and if i were you i would take some pleasure in that be it rong i would take pleasure!! i myself was raped as a young boy the person has "passed" away now i oculdnt possibly disclose how

[sebaot]

Realize it's not your fault anybody died. It's his fault for choosing to molest and rape children. His decision to rape you and others is the reason he's dead. I've got a strong feeling that he killed himself because a lot of similar stories would uncover the moment he got into the spotlight.

[writer68]

To start off wt let me say how sorry I am that you were raped. I would also like to say his suicide was not your fault do not blame yourself. The boy who raped me got his hands slaped, and later became the sherif of Podunk, Oklahoma. You See in my case they called me a lier patted him on the back. Therapists don't work. So who has the better slice of pie.

[Ingrid]

It probably is a good thing that the jerk died. Not that you should feel happy for his death, but you probably prevented many young children from being raped. In this sense, you are a hero.

 

You did the right thing. A rape is like a murder. Many children who were raped for a long period of time undergo a division of the self : just like dying long and slow death.

 

When the Egyptians were following the Jews who ran away from slavery, and all the Egyptians died in the Red Sea, then all the angels in Heaven started singing and laughing.

 

God told them to stop this behaviour : they should not feel happy for the death of anyone. However, God is the one who inflicted this punishment on them, not because of hatred but because He had to do the right thing.

 

Take care!

 

 

[lil_unique_me]

my mum recently told me though that i am still acting like a victime. if i continue to comfort eat i will always be his victim. how the hell am i supposed 2 cope with that?

Catie xxx