How do you progress from light topics to more complex ones

[sarsapolis6]

while getting the other person to like you or respect what you have to say?

 

Is there a general order of things to talk about from A to B to C?

 

I find that it's difficult to talk about certain middle-of-the-road topics with people (such as a particular movie, TV shows, or new technology) because I can tell that the other person (and this is a variety of people) aren't interested in listening, prefer to downplay what I'm saying, act as if they don't believe that I know about certain things or will act negatively towards me. In other words, I'm getting resistance from people and I don't know if I'm putting the cart before the horse with my communication skills.

 

Thanks

[civilservant]

There isn't a 'how to' guide unfortunately, and conversations often flow without ny given rules. Asking these sorts of things is really personal in some instances however, so it's important to lay the groundwork. You say some people don't seem to listen, perhaps it's because they don't feel comfertable in your company yet?

 

How long have you know these people?

[talo]

How do you progress from light topics to more complex ones

while getting the other person to like you or respect what you have to say

By conversing in a feeling way. By being aware of what the other person is feeling at all times. By feelingly relating to what you feel the other is feeling.

[arwen]

I think the key is not so much to push the topic but to learn for cues in the conversation that tell you that the shift would be successful.

[sarsapolis6]

2 months already.

 

But there are other guys who have been able to talk about anything, and they've known the group for only a shorter time than I have.

 

In what steps should I lay the groundwork?

[sarsapolis6]

Arwen, these people I know aren't the type to start conversations. It seems that I need to be the one to do it.

 

Basically what I want to focus on is how to use my initial conversations (whatever those could be) over a short period of time to create an atmosphere where we could talk about middle-of-the-road stuff. Not the controversial stuff because it's not allowed and in any social situation with people outside of your family, it's unnecessary.

 

However, I am getting resistance from even talking ABOUT middle of the road stuff. Movies are harmless.

 

What should I do? Talk about my family, where I live? I am probably skipping over initial conversations without even knowing it. Perhaps these people don't trust me enough because I haven't talked enough about personal stuff?

[talo]

Due to your lack of response to some of the posts in this thread, some may be feeling what you can feel, ie that you:

....aren't interested in listening, prefer to downplay what I'm saying, act as if they don't believe that I know about certain things or will act negatively towards me.