so confsed.....how should I feel about the situation...

[mskc0511]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and we are both in college however we go to different schools. We live about an hour ...hour and a half away from each other and we have jobs and stuff so we can only really see each other on the weekends. I am at a university and he is at a junior college. He was supposed to transfer this year but things prevented that...he will be transfering in the fall. The thing is that there is a big possibility that he wont be going to a school near me. He and I have had this long distance relationship since we have been together. I dont know how much longer I can hold out especially knowing that there is a bigger chance of him going to a university farther away than he is to me now. If he did end up going to a school near by we discussed getting an apartment together....but he doesnt sound to thrilled about it. NOt that he doesnt want to ....but at the sametime not like he does. Any time that I bring up how I wish that he was here with me and how much I miss him ..he feels that it is his fault that we are not together. I felt that way when I went away to school. We have talked about getting engaged but we (he) came to the conclusion that that would not be the best thing right now. And to an extent I agree. He doesnt want to talk about the future...I guess because he knows what is gonna happen. I have no idea what to expect. I dont think that he is really as devoted to me as he says because he would have been doing everything in his power to be with me. Like trying harder to get into my school. Is that opinion...conclusion rediculous.? I guess in a sense ...later on it may be his fault...but am I in the wrong for expressing myself. To be honest...I just want to know if he is committed as he says that he is...but his actions dont seem like it. Should I stop telling him how I feel because it bothers him...or should I continue what I am doing...I dont know what to do. We both say that we wouldnt mind being engaged but...it is not the smart thing...in a sense we...he is worried about what people would say...personally I dont care. Do you think that it would be a good sign of committment if he were to ask me to marry him regardeless as to what happens...because if our relationship continues to be at the level that it is and he moves further away...I dont think that I could deal with it emotionally...I would have to break up with him...I dont want to be in a relationship that doesnt know where it is going...Let me know what you think...Thanks

[Tinkerbell]

First of all, don't jump to conclusions. Just because he seems preoccupied does not mean he isn't as devoted as you are. I think one of the reasons he may be acting squirmish about getting married, moving in together, etc is because he realises that if school pushes him farther away it wouldn't be possible...It could be that he doesn't wanna get your hopes up high because it'll only hurt the both of you more in the end. I think you should continue being yourself; if you feel like talking about a certain thing, whether you think he'll be nonchalant or not, just DO IT. If he doesn't love you for you he isn't worth it. I know you guys are far away from each other, but the next time you get to see each other sit down and have a talk about where your relationship is going (Guys seem to hate these, but girls need them.) Hopefully, you guys will be able to come to a conclusion.

Good luck!