Having his cake and eating it too

[SingleMom]

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for almost 2 years now. Early on in the relationship he said he wanted to "capture my heart." Little did I know at the time that after he "captured" it he would put me on the roller coaster of my life!

He lives an hour away which makes seeing each other a little more difficult. One day a week I go to see him. He doesn't come to visit me unless he is passing through to visit his parents who live another hour past my town.

He and his ex-live-in girlfriend broke up a few months before we met. I learned a few months into the relationship that they still talked. He swore their relationship was over. I put my fears aside and trusted him. Then I learned recently he was chatting to other women on adult dating sites. As luck would have it, he wrote a girlfriend of mine requesting to know "more about her." I asked him about it. He became furious and said I was "trying and convicting him for playing on his pc." He says he is just looking. I say he is doing more than that.

I cannot understand why a man (or woman) would claim to love someone yet they still feel the need to seach out others, whether it be on adult sites or other dating sites. He still professes he loves me and I have nothing to worry about. I thnk he just wants his cake and eat it too.

Whenever I am at his house he has the ringer on the phone turned off and the volume on his answering machine down low. We used to go out to eat dinner but now we have dinner at his place. I am beginning to wonder if he is seeing someone else.

Here's the problem. I know I should dump the guy but I love him. I would love to work things out with him but I really don't know that we can or even how. He's really low on my trust meter! I've tried talking to him about how his activities make me feel but he shrugs it off to my being insecure. How can someone feel secure if the man they love is always looking for greener pastures?

[RosiePosie]

I know you don't want to hear this, but since he just wants to make fun of your insecurity, you gotta dump him...

 

He isn't even trying to help you feel a little more secure...

 

You said it yourself - he is looking for greener pastures and the sooner you get yourself away from him, the better...

[dksh44]

Dump that jerk he is just waiting for something he thinks is better to come along or he already has one on the side get you a real man that is grown up knows what he wants!!!he is a player ask him if he ever played that game called kick his butt to the curb!!!You are better than that!! tell him get lost!