He loves me..but i don't feel the same way back

[X ShadowDreamz X]

My boyfriend is really sweet, but I just don't love him like he loves me. We haven't been talking as much either. I don't wanna hurt him, but I just don't know how to tell him that I'd rather us be really good friends. I don't want to be in a relationship with him anymore because I am starting to like someone else. My boyfriend is always telling me he loves me and stuff, but I just say it back so that it doesn't feel awkward. I just don't know what to do. If anybody has any advice, i'll really appreciate it.

[benevolent]

How long have you been going on with your boyfriend? How old are the two of you?

 

I think one of the worst and meanest things that someone can to another person is to lead them on and string them along because they are afraid to be honest with one another.

 

The key thing for you is honesty.

 

I am curious as to why you are letting the attraction to the other person get to you. Now of course, this is dependent on several things: the level of commitment, love, etc. in the relationship, the longetivity of it, the maturity levels of you two, etc.

 

All relationships go through ups and downs. The level of love also varies with that. Many people don't realize this and don't understand that you can be in love with someone and experience those down times. It may not necessarily mean that you are no longer in love with that person. It usually is that they miss the infatuation and high that came with falling in love.Again I don't know your situation so it is hard to comment on this.

 

Is this also something worth risking because you "like someone else"? What if the whole relationship deteriorates and now you are left with nothing? I take this to heart, because you mention that your bf is "sweet".

It makes me so angry when I hear someone say that they are willing to just let a "sweet guy, a perfect relationship, the perpect partner" go all in the name of finding themselves or liking someone else.

 

I don't mean to take this out on you, but can you just imagine what the poor guy is going through. For your sake, I suggest you really think this through and not let your friends or temptation influence your decision.

[Tinkerbell]

The longer you wait to tell him how you really feel, the more hurt he's gonna be. It's time for you to tell him the truth; it's the least he deserves. Don't be harsh tho, let him down easy...If you still care about him, make sure you establish that right away, but also point out that you're ready to see other people. Chances are it's gonna be hard for you guys to be friends at first since he'll take the break-up badly (Cmon, what person doesn't when they're in love!) so give him some time. When he's ready to speak again, he'll come to you. But I have to remind you that you wouldn't be in this rut if you hadn't lied to him in the first place...What kind of person says I love you without meaning it?

Anyway, good luck!

[Michael2]

The grass isnt greener on the other side. Believe me.

[Jordan42]

Be honest. That is the best thing you can do for both of you.

[scaryhobo]

But first be honest with yourself and think about what your feelings are and why you feel the way you do. Benevolent and Michael2 have good points. I've seen alot of girls throw away good, maybe perfect relationships for some seemingly arbitrary reason. And give some thought to your feelings and maybe think about the fact that you have a certain degree of control over your emotions. Maybe if you look at this guy or the relationship in a different way and think about all the good in it, the life might come back into it for you.

 

Just a thought

[Chupa Chup]

i want you to know that i have experienced what your boyfriend has experienced... the only difference is that after FIVE years he's decided that he doesn't want to be with me anymore because he never could feel love for me and we had broken up in the end. you can do a search on my story if you want to know what happened.

 

what i want to say to you is : please don't EVER think of telling someone that you love them just because its a nice thing to say or that you felt you had to say it to make them happy. this happened to me during the first year of my relationship and you just don't know how it feels when your partner turns around and says to you, "oh actually, i'm sorry - i didn't know what it meant to say those three words to you. i had said them only because i felt it was a nice thing to say and i didn't want to disappoint you." you will never know how that feels until you are on the other side so please, you have to be very HONEST with your partner and let him know before you hurt him.

 

i have been tremendously hurt by what has happened and it will take me a long while to heal from the pain and hurt. i know i am slowly healing inside because i can feel it - its only been a month but now i know why we had to break up. i know he regrets what he has done and feels a lot of pain and guilt about it but there are scars that will take a while to heal. i hope you can learn from my lesson because what was said is so TRUE - leading a person on no matter how long a length of time is one of the meanest things you can ever do to play with his emotions and toil with his feelings. be an adult about it and be honest.

 

forgive me if i sound harsh but i just needed you to know what its like from the other side of the grass. its certainly not greener. good luck and i hope things will work out for you in the end, weather you both end up together or not.