Jordan42
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Does his masturbation and possible porn watching make you feel as if you can't satify him?
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Need some advice for sexual frequency differences
Jordan42 replied to latrinobidet's topic in Relationship Advice
I was in a relationship and throughout the entire length of it I was almost always felt expected to have sex. That expectation would turn me off in a heartbeat. Like others have suggested, do things to romance her but don't really try to initiate sex. You will probably have to be very patient, but if you really do love her you can do it. -
Happy all by myself- or getting there at least
Jordan42 replied to SparklingKaren's topic in Personal Growth
Congratulations SparklingKaren! That is a very important realization to make. I hope that people who might not have had this realization will be inspired by reading your post. Never forget what you've learned. -
Question About Proposing to my Boyfriend
Jordan42 replied to Jordan42's topic in Relationship Advice
Thank you for the replies. I'm pretty confident that he wants me to propose. I'm going to get him a ring and have my old diamond reset. I will present both and see if he'll put mine on me.- 5 replies
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It is very clear to me that my boyfriend would like it if I were to propose to him instead of the other way around. I am planning to propose, however I don't know what to do about engagement rings. I plan to find a ring for him that would double as his wedding ring, but what about me? I feel selfish wanting an engagement ring of my own, but I can't deny my feelings about it. I don't want it because I want an expensive piece of jewellery. I don't. I want it because it is a symbol of our commitment. I have a diamond I would like to remount in a $119 setting. Does anyone have any comments or suggestions on how I could give him a ring and get myself a ring? Should I just wait until after I propose and see what my boyfriend has to say? All advice would be welcomed.
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My STBX and I filed for an uncontested divorce (without children) on 11/05/03, over one year ago. The STBX and I split the lawyer fee and decided that the lawyer would represent my STBX. I greatly regret ever going to a lawyer to get this done. I know first hand the longest this should take and what steps are involved. I helped one of my friends file for an uncontested divorce without children without using a lawyer. She filed 9/22/04 and the final hearing is on 11/29/04. She paid a $150.00 filing fee and ~$30.00 for the do-it-yourself divorce book with all the forms. Me, I paid $875.00 (remember that is half of the lawyer fee) and its been over one year and I'm still not divorced. I was served with the papers in February of this year. I have no idea why the lawyer waited THREE months to serve me with papers. I signed the divorce agreement in March. I didn't hear anything from the lawyer after that. I called several times to see what was going on and got his voicemail every time but once. He only called me back twice when I left messages. The last time I talked to him he told me I didn't mail something in and that the court had dismissed the case. He wouldn't even tell me what I didn't mail in! I was still ignorant of the divorce process at that point so I took his word. I know now that there was never a form I needed to mail in. In the beginning of October his partner in the law firm called me. He told me that the proof of service was never filed and that was why the case was dismissed. I signed the proof of service in front of the lawyer and he should have filed it. The lawyer the STBX and I filed with tried to blame ME for HIS mistake! Last I knew they had to reinstate the case and it should be done in two weeks. That was 7 weeks ago. I called the partner Monday and he said he hadn't heard anything. I am very frustrated. My STBX won't work with me anymore; he stopped talking to me in February. I can't afford a lawyer of my own. Is there anything I can do other than hire a lawyer to get this divorce done?
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Thanks all. You've confirmed my suspicions.
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*Please don't read this as if I am angry or accusatory. I'm neither.* Don't use your ex-husband as a safety net. Write down why you think you want to go back to him. It will help you organize your thoughts. If you don't feel that he is someone you want to share your life with, don't go back. As for the married man, you need to accept that the relationship is over. He wants to reconcile with his family. It is hard to lose someone you feel is right for you. Try to remember that if someone is right for you, they will want to be with you. I am sorry you are hurting right now. Best wishes to you.
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I've been wondering for years... Are there men out there that like to receive flowers? Would it embarrass you (men) to get flowers from someone?
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slowly sinking into depression
Jordan42 replied to pudgy55's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
From what I have experienced and what I've learned from others is that the hardest part is truly and finally accepting that the relationship is over and that there is no going back. You've probably told yourself several times that it's over but it doesn't sound like you truly believe it. The first thing you need to do is to want to let go. It doesn't help at all that the other person doesn't want to. When you decide that you want to let go of something, letting go becomes easier. You gain some willpower that you will need to move on. Accept what has happened and decide to let go. Accept your feelings and let them happen, but don't let them consume you. Sometimes you need to just give in and cry and be alone, but when it starts to become a habit you need to make yourself do something else. I started making myself take breaks from my sadness. When I'd start feeling bad at work, I'd leave my desk and clear my head or find a project that would require lots of brain power. At home, I find something to do. Anything that requires me to think about something other than what is making me sad. Reading works the best for me. It's relaxing and I don't get a chance to think about anything but what is happening in the book. In the car, I put on a CD I can sing to or something I don't know so I listen to it instead of the thoughts in my head. *hug* Best of luck to you. I hope you start feeling better soon.- 5 replies
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- friend
- healing after break up
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You should never change who you are if your goal is to satisfy someone else. It may win someone over initially, but eventually neither of you will be happy. You also cheat yourself and the other person out of a meaningful relationship. If there is something you don't like about yourself that is within your power to change and you want to change it, do it. No one loses in that situation. The things you can't change, do your best to accept them and forget about them. Worrying about them or feeling sorry for yourself doesn't change them and will just make you feel bad (and makes you less desirable to be with).
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No one is required to give anyone a gift. If you want to give a gift to someone, go for it.
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I feel the same Wolfy.
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As long as the hair is clean, brushed, and suits the person it's all good.
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I am glad that no one was hurt in all of that. I agree with Avman. That is great advice and I thank you for sharing your experience with all of us.
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He loves me..but i don't feel the same way back
Jordan42 replied to X ShadowDreamz X's topic in Breaking Up Advice
Be honest. That is the best thing you can do for both of you. -
Just need to vent...Having a bad week
Jordan42 replied to JSHRN's topic in Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
That is a pretty rough week. I hope your tests come out better than you anticipate and that your heart condition isn't serious. I hope things turn around for the better soon. *hug* -
Very good additions Frodo!
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Be observant. Notice the little things. Pay attention to her when she's talking. Be confident. Touch parts of her body that aren't her breasts or the region "down there". Compliment her hair, outifts, earrings. etc. but don't do it too often. Too many compliments can backfire and make them meaningless. Play with her hair. Massages are always good (link removed). Don't ask her to find things for you if you haven't already tried looking for them. Say thank you when she does things for you. It's always nice to know you are appreciated. Pay attention to the things she does for you because most likely she would like you to do the same for her. Those are some of the things I like. I hope it helps you.
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I like something that is from the heart. It doesn't matter what it is or what it cost as long as it was given out of love and not out of obligation. One of my favorite Valentine's Day gifts was a dozen roses my husband made for me out of construction paper.
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It depends. Cologne that smells good on one man could smell bad on another. I personally like Obsession and Pi. Stetson isn't too bad either.
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Long term relationship on rocks-mystified and need help
Jordan42 replied to g5000i's topic in Breaking Up Advice
I really wish I could edit my post... I forgot to mention that if you've told your fiancee how you feel about her, giving her space won't make her forget. She will know. Just don't let yourself be strung along.- 8 replies
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Long term relationship on rocks-mystified and need help
Jordan42 replied to g5000i's topic in Breaking Up Advice
When I started dating my husband, I pretty much spent all of my time with him and his friends and put my friends on the back burner. Needless to say, my friends weren't pleased and we drifted apart. At the time I was happy with having my husband as my only close friend. We both felt that we were each others soulmate and were very happy together. After two years, he went off to college. I became good friends with his brother and a few of his brothers friends. About a year later, I developed quite a crush on his brother. I ignored it and hoped that it would just pass. It didn't and eventually I told my husband that I thought I had feelings for his brother. After a long discussion I convinced him (and myself) that I was in love with him, not his brother, and we moved on. I felt horrible about the whole thing and from then on I could never bring myself to say anything to my husband that I thought might hurt our relationship or his feelings. We were soulmates after all... I always happily agreed to whatever he decided because I wanted to do whatever would make him happy. All of the things about him that irked me, I ignored. Once I joined him at college, I lost touch with all of my friends and stuck to my husband like glue. I was always somewhat shy and afraid of meeting people, but it was brought out even more at that point. There was no need for me to make friends because I had my husband and he had no trouble making friends. I just hung out with him and his friends. I think my feelings for him started to wane about three years ago. I figured it was just another low point and that it would pass. The last year we were together I couldn't even be intimate with him unless I was drunk. I tried and tried to ignore what I was feeling, but my husband called me out on it one day. He asked me if I still loved him and I broke down crying. I needed to be away from him so I could sort out how I felt. I needed time alone. I couldn't begin to straighten out my thoughts with him hanging around clouding them. I needed to live life without him for a little while. As for finding myself... I had never taken the chance to build my own life. I never had my own goals. I didn't have my own friends. I had never lived by myself. I lived under the shadow of my husband. I don't know how else to decribe it. I struggled for a long time trying to figure out how I felt. It didn't make sense to me at all how I could not love someone I had once thought of as my soulmate. Someone that I have a lot in common with. Someone that would treat me like a Queen. Someone that I was so comfortable with. All I know is I am not in love with him. It took me a lot of time to admit it, but once I did I felt like a weight was lifted from me. If I had been a stronger person years back, I'm sure I could have saved me and my husband a lot of pain. I feel very bad about how everything turned out, but I decided a couple of months ago to stop beating myself up and that I had to just accept what happened, learn from it, hope I would be forgiven one day, and move on. Since then I've felt a lot better. It makes me very sad to see him hurting so much. He is a wonderful person and he was my best friend. I want to see him happy again. It would be asking too much of him, but I would like it very much if we could stay friends. I hope relating my experience helps.- 8 replies
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Long term relationship on rocks-mystified and need help
Jordan42 replied to g5000i's topic in Breaking Up Advice
Welcome to enotalone "g5000i". Right now I am going through the break up of a 14 year relationship. My husband and I met when I was in 9th grade and we were each others first boyfriend/girlfriend. We went to college together and started living together. We rarely ever argued the entire 14 years we were together (which I feel was something that hurt our relationship). He was always concerned about having enough money and always wanting to make more. In 2002 we bought a house. One day, about a year after we bought our house, I told him I didn't love him anymore. It was the absolute hardest thing I had ever done in my life. He moved out of the house that very day. Over the next few weeks we discussed what we each felt were problems in the relationship and what we liked and disliked about each other. We both went to individual counceling. All of this helped, but it wasn't enough to save our marriage. I eventually told him I needed to be by myself for a while. I needed to learn who I was and I just couldn't do it when I was with him. I had tried to become my own person while with him but it just didn't work. I needed to be alone. He still kept contacting me and trying to convince me that he loved me and that he had changed. This did not help at all. It just made me want to get away from him more. This is all very simplified and there is a whole lot more, but its not needed here. My situation is similar to yours, though I'm like your fiancee. Speaking from my experience, you should do your best to give her the space she needs. Begging, pleading, crying, and trying to convince her to stay with you will most likely just make her feel horrible and drive her farther away. I hope things work out better for you than they did for my husband. Be strong in any case. No matter what happens, you will eventually be happy again. Good luck to you. *hugs*- 8 replies
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The first thing that popped into my mind was Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). Here is a link to a web page that describes PCOS. link removed. I'm not sure if you exhibit any other symptoms, but it couldn't hurt to look over the list.