back together!

[street]

After 7 months of split me and the ex are back together, we both have had a relationship in the break but I guess are hearts weren't in it…it was her who broke up with me after 4 years..im over the moon were back together but at the same time im scared as hell, scared that she could do it again?? Who knows…

it feels very right were taking it slow just going out on dates a couple of times a week, which is great fun…I don't know its only been a few weeks but theres something niggling at me and I don't really know what it is…im sure it will go away once were back into it full steam, but for the moment I hate this feeling…I think it is the worry of losing her again as im not sure I could go through it again!!

 

As she split from me im letting her make most of the effort as I guess she has to show me shes serious which shes doing very well, I suppose she now knows what its like to be without me so im sure she won't let it happen again…

 

Can couples get back together and make it work??

[Senna]

I really hope it works out for you street. It's going to be so hard and it will take a lot of work but if you two are meant to be then everything will sort it's self out.

 

I don't think it's possible to hurt like you did before I always think the first time in anything is the worst without you even realizing it you grow stronger and it won't be as painful as the first time.

 

As you know my ex and I are trying to get back together but firstly we have to get to know each other again which is really hard having known her better than anyone else over the past five years it's a strange feeling and sometimes I wonder if it's worth it because I want thing's to move faster but at the same time they can't. It's hard work but let me know how it's going

[benevolent]

That is fantastic news for you Street. My gf left me about 2 months ago and it has been so hard to deal with. We had been together for close to 3 years and she and her 2 kids (from a prior marriage) had lived with me for that time.

 

I must say that without this site/forum and the support of my family and few friends, I really don't know what I would do. Currently, I've been praciticing the "no-contact rule" and she had initiated contacted me a few times, but it's more of a "how are you doing? how are you feeling?" type of e-mail. There are times when she give me the little winks ;-) and smiles but I don't want to read to much into it.

 

You mentioned that you were together for 4 years - may I ask what led to the eventual breakup? I just want to see if there are any similarities to my situation. Also, how old are you and your gf? If you want you can check out my posts:

 

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I understand what you are feeling. My ex left me in the very beginning of our relationship because her husband (they were going through a divorce at the time) was saying that he had changed and that he was going to be the best husband and father to their kids. She ended up leaving for the sake of the kids, but I knew that wouldn't last and she ended up moving back in with me a month later or so. As great as that was, the trust was broken and that feeling of "oh she is going to leave me again" stayed with me sometime. It took me sometime to rebuild the trust and allow myself to be totally vulnerable with her.

 

I really don't want to rant and I shouldn't. This is a fantastic day for you and your gf. Again I have a whole lot of hope now thanks to you and I wish the best for the two of you.

 

I think the best think you should do is work on resolving any issues that contributed to the break up. Don't do it all at once, start slow and rebuild that foundation again. I think for me, the last couple of months have given me time to reflect not only on the relationship, but on myself as well. I think once you improve yourself, then your relationship is easier to maintain. Another thing, that has helped me is to really understand what your gf has felt or gone through. Really try to look at things from her perspective and try to understand and see things as she would. You'll be surprised how much you can see. Sometimes things that are right in front of us seem so obvious, but it's not until you really examine something that you truly understand and see things that were not visible to you before.

 

Good luck my friend and do not stop working at this. Love, relationships all require work.

[Heretic]

I think it's important to consider the outside influences that brought you back together. If there weren't any you're in great shape and you have NOTHING to worry about. If she was pressured back into it by friends or family you might be in for some trouble.

 

So what were the factors leading to you guys being together again. Any input would help me to give you better advice on the scenario.

[street]

im 26 shes 21, we split because she was abit bored with r situation, stuck in a rut i suppose..there was never any doubt that she loved me...

 

guess she needed to see what else was out there, and in a way so did i..

 

we got back as we still loved each other..it just kinda fell into place and happened naturaly..

 

i don't doubt it will work, just the going slow is hard as i want to see her all the time, but i know were not ready for that yet...

 

its like starting a new relationship but already having the strong feelings! its not easy but it feels right.

 

i never gave up hope but i didn't put my life on hold either, i was dating someone else, who was great but i guess my heart was never really in it!!

 

it can happen, i never pressured her and no one else did either..

[Heretic]

Right on. This is definitely a good thing.

 

Keep up the good work, you know you need to to keep the relationship going. As far as I can tell though you guys are looking at many more happy memories together as a couple.

 

I wish you the best.