Rebounds

[Mayday11]

Ask 10 different people what a 'rebound relationship' is and you'll get 10 different replies.

 

I agree with majord, most of the time a couple is referred to as a 'rebound relationship' by someone who has an interest in it failing. You don't ever hear someone saying "Gee, I really hope their rebound relationship is going great!", for example.

 

However, from my own personal experience, the general idea of a 'rebound relationship' does tend to hold true. I mean, it's obviously a common enough occurrence to get it's very own relationship label, so the idea can't really be chalked up to being a fluke.

 

Outside of relationships that involve cheating or abuse, breaking up is more often than not a pretty painful experience for both parties involved. One person feels strong rejection and the other has to cope with strongly hurting someone they care for (even if not romantically). In addition, it takes two to make or break a relationship, so both parties involved obviously have a relationship weakness that needs to be sufficiently addressed. If not, it will simply follow them into their next relationship and so on.

 

Because of the above, people who quickly enter another relationship soon after the end of a serious one usually do so on shaky ground. They are most likely entering a relationship out of convenience rather than true compatibility. If you quickly enter another relationship, there's a good chance that you didn't really take the time to see what else was out there and that you latched onto the first person who you knew you could get with. The newness of the relationship will hide the serious incompatibilities for awhile, but they'll come to light soon enough. In addition, not enough time was taken to really address your own relationship faults and more than likely the things that led to the demise of your last relationship will end this one, too.

 

I've seen this happen time and time again. In fact, just the other night a friend was over with what I would consider his rebound girlfriend (I have nothing vested in the outcome of their relationship, by the way). They couldn't seem to agree on a single thing the entire night. However, he seemed completely and totally oblivious to this, almost like the strong disagreements went in one ear and right out the other. This is because after he dumped his last girlfriend, he latched onto the first single attractive girl he came accross. He didn't get together with her because they were compatible, but because she was available to fulfill an emotional need of his.

 

But, remember, although these things tend to hold true as far as I've seen it, doesn't mean you should be waiting around in the hopes that your ex's relationship fails. You're preventing yourself from moving on, you're still fixating on your ex, and hoping for the demise of anyone's relationship is a pretty petty thing to do. If you love them, you'll want them to be happy even if that means it's not with you. It hurts, sure, but sometimes you have to make large sacrifices for the happiness of the ones you love.

 

Also, some rebounds certainly do flourish. I've seen what some would call a rebound relationship turn into happier and longer lasting relationships than the previous ones. Granted, the majority of the time, the previous relationship wasn't that great, but still. Then there's always the chance that should your ex's relationship fail, they'll move onto someone else and not come back to you. I strongly doubt my aforementioned friend will be returning to his ex after his current relationship ends (which I think is an unfortunate eventuality), for example, because I have yet to see him go back to anyone.

 

In closing, all of the above is pointless anyways, since your ex's new relationship or the potential failure of your new relationship shouldn't be your concern right now. Making sure you're happy with yourself and making sure that you're ready to face whatever life hands you with your head held high should be number one on your list of priorities.

[ccali78]

Mayday good call _ If you love them, you'll want them to be happy even if that means it's not with you. It hurts, sure, but sometimes you have to make large sacrifices for the happiness of the ones you love

 

Funny my last serious relationship before him was a rebound. It lasted a year and half and could never fully commit to me but could never be alone. He is still with the girl after I broke up with him like 8 years later and still no ring on her finger. He was trying to get me back about 4 months ago and I said do yourself a favor a put a ring on that girls finger.