is this woman off her rocker?

[shemojo]

I divorced some time ago, it was a very amenable split up, no drama, no difficulty, over time we had grown apart, love was lost, it was time to move on in life. What is weird is that my X's sister in law (whom he dated before me and who married his brother) was extremely upset about the split, she responded by instructing her kids never to speak to me again. I had learned of this through her husband, shortly after the split, when we met up with her and her kids. Shocking to me, she and her kids snubbed their faces and never even said hello, walked off as if I was not there - these were kids who adored me as I did them, at least while I was married to their uncle. Seems her anger over the split was in response to me apparently ruining things for her life in some twisted way, and an emotional bond she felt towards my X. Had she not married my X's brother, or had I not been in the picture back then, she may very well have ended up married to my X. I wonder what possessed her to have that much emotional wreckage over the situation. We were all close friends, but when I left my X she shut off completely. I can see she felt some emotional investment with respect to my X, but to the point of manipulating her children's feelings and instructing a 5 and 7 year olds to never speak to me? Seems an extreme, vindictive and immature measure turn your kids on a person when it's your own personal and selfish issues that are the problem.

 

I know there were times she threatened to divorce her husband - he had confided this to me as we are still close friends - but, she never would do so, as she is the type to keep up appearances no matter what the cost. So, I have to wonder since she was not terribly happy in her own marriage was she lashing out at me for leaving the guy she perhaps really wanted all along? Or was she upset that I reflected to her something she dare hot do, that is I was strong enough to make a life choice for myself, a choice she could never make for her own situation do due to kids and appearances? Not really sure her motives, but definitely she seems off her rocker.

[kuhl282000]

she is the type to keep up appearances no matter what the cost. So, I have to wonder since she was not terribly happy in her own marriage was she lashing out at me for leaving the guy she perhaps really wanted all along .....

Extreme .........off her rocker ......imature ..........are all good words ......

 

Their are just people out there like this......nothing you can really do about it. Best thing to do is stay away .....its a losing battle ......and try not to let it bother you their are some questions in life that go un-answered ....this may be one of them

[Xetra Dax]

K your ex is the man of her dreams she can't believe you let go of the man of her dreams, something like: if you didn't want him, why didn't you give him to me =P

 

Really childish, she disrespects you thereforee for letting go of a person who is supposedly the man of anyones dreams, in reality its just her dreams.

 

So its really childish for her to act in that way, and her kids n husband are just drones who obey her asif she has a remote control for them.

 

I wouldn't let myself be bother by a finger in this case. Let her and her crazy thoughts be for what they are, if you have a chance tho, explain the situation, that way hopefully she doesn't need to be that vindictive against or towards you anymore.

[redhearts]

I feel bad for her husband, he should get the divorce. =O

[shemojo]

thanks for the support. I thought it weird, and decided it was not worth trying to gain back her friendship/acceptance. And, yeah, I totally feed bad for her hubby, he's sweet, and been through a lot with her, but stays because of their kids. No one deserves being pushed or programmed through life or marriage. I really hoped he'd get out when he had enough, but he stays. In some respects he's too kind.

 

In my own situation I stayed far too long in a marriage that was going nowhere, but stayed for the wrong reasons: "because that is what family and friends expect of you", "because you believe marriage should be forever, even if it feels wrong".... and, so on. It took me quite a while to wrestle with and resolve my feelings about that marriage and muster up the strength to move forward in life. I have no regrets.

 

There is a lot on this board about divorce and whether one should stay, go, try to work through issues, etc., each situation has an answer, but no answer applies to all situations by any means. In the end there is give & take, loss & gain. Reflecting on my own situation I think I gained more than I lost.