Iakasot Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 On the directionless of the freed... Color of the world bestowed, blackness on the soul-less plowed. I am one of hollowed world, on the curtains of the road, Following a carved path, on the soon to leave us past. Denser denser the fog gets, cutting open the eye's own specs. silver gold the value give to the life one plans to live oh stern values of the mind, leaving the heart's saint to grind gears turning open gates, the broken skull: filled minds fate. bring me every single plant, to send, tto mend, to bend, to repent Might... Blue poison, must you taunt me, you hurt, daunt the burn on the skin Jumping with me into the sea, disorder organizing border Spend my time in vain, you are paining, strength ingraining Rage would fill my heart with fire, desire? Blasted ****, tis not you! Fleeing fundamentals of friendly fondness, fiend! My mistake, I have sinned. I bite on my lip? Tis sure to give me relief. I will not bite, I will hesitate. Should I? Or should I rather wait for never and forget. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 I really, really like the first stanza... Very intriguing rest...but maybe you could work the phrasing a bit so the last lines have the same flow as the beginning? Link to comment
Iakasot Posted July 27, 2008 Author Share Posted July 27, 2008 It's actually 2 separate poems, the 2nd one is called might. (that's why they have different tone and flow) I actually had a 3rd one in the set that I composed in the same night, but it has a lot of vulgarities. These are from a few months back. Oh yeah, the censor is the C word. Link to comment
Recommended Posts