Should I quit my job because of a girl?

[Jeffrey19]

Hi all,

I've liked this girl for about 6 months now. She works at the same store I do, she's very pretty, 16 years old and has a boyfriend I'm 19 by the way. Well you see I asked her out back in July and then she broke it to me that she has a boyfriend. I CAN NOT get her out of my head, since I work with her it is IMPOSSIBLE. Now I'm thinking of looking for a new job, but on the other hand I think, why should I? I like my job, what happens if at my new Job there is another girl I fancy and can't have then I'm into the same dilemma again.

 

Everyone here says it's best to know the girl you like how you feel, so you know where you stand. I don't think that applies to me. When I tell her how I feel I(in my own mind) believe she should some how reciprocate the feelings... crazy I know. I can't control others feelings but it's just the way I am....

 

I have a counsellor but nobody really understands how I feel, it's been 6 months and know she likes other "hotter" guys at work, you know, guys in the same LEAGUE as her... It make me EXTREMELY jealous... What should I do??

[real amour]

Hi. I am 36 years old and I quit a job to join my now husband? (who couldn't get a job in my area). Biggest mistake I ever made.

 

I met a man who also quit his job to join his girlfriend. She didn't speak the language there so he moved. He is adjusting as best he can.

 

My dad who left Europe after World War II because of the Communists in his country told me the best advice ever 'You go where there is a job'.

 

So my advice is do not quit your job for anyone. If you quit, it is because the boss is lousy or you want a new challenge or it is far from home, whatever. Never let someone have that power over you. You are very young still, learning, growing, besides you are not married or divorced from her. I know you do not see it this way as such, but trust me, until you are a certain age, you are building your character and must do things for you not for 'us'. Good luck.

[Ash]

I tend to agree with real amour? I don't think it's a good idea at this stage in your life to leave a job because of a situation like this. I've worked with a lot of people who refuse to even consider dating somebody they work with. For somebody like you, I think this might be very sound advice, as it will maybe prevent you from even starting to get worked up about somebody at work.

 

There will always be situations where it's possible to be in proximity to somebody you have a strong attraction for, but can't act upon. You may find when you get another job, as already pointed out, the same things happens.

 

One way that this could be used to your advantage is that your coworker introduce you to some of her single friends. That would both give you a possible source of ladies to consider dating, and would ease the tension she might have of working in the same place at you. She too is likely well aware of the situation and perhaps uncomfortable with it.

 

I would tend to disagree with some of your other advice, it's not always best to let everybody know how you feel about them. Unless you trust them, you may find on occasion your revelations of your feelings ends up being belittled or used against you at some future time. Reveal you feelings when it's appropriate to do so, not as soon as you start talking to somebody you like. It's too big a risk to take, you could get hurt later on.

 

You counselor of course may have different advice on your working situation, he/she will know the situation far better than I.

 

If you feel you're in a lower league than her, then perhaps you could work on ways of improving the way you think you appear to other people. There may be nothing at all wrong with you, it may simply be a matter of confidence. You're still young, get out to some different places and meet some girls. Perhaps you have the opportunity to meet people at work, depending on what you do. Always have a smile for them, and always greet them and say goodbye politely. They'll remember it. And if they start coming in more often, then that's a good sign that just maybe it's you they're interested in.

[Cid]

I say quit if it is hurting your job, keep your eye open for a better job but dont do something rash like quit with out a job. That is why I say never date a coworker.