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Hi everyone.....


I am having crazy thoughts again.


My SO of 4.5 years have choose to move back to her home country to find better work and start a new career for 3+years. She feels that her current job now is a dead end job. She can work her butt off to above and beyond and will go no where as for recognition and pay.


She have basically made up her mind about moving back and she wants to continue this relationship but internationally LDR.


I've been having thoughts of marriage months before she broke the news to me about moving back. She did ask me about marriage 6 months ago and I told her my plans thats I want to save some more money and buy a house before we get marry in a few years. And I know how much a wedding will cost..... ](*,) We are both 27.


I am not sure if I want to marry her now is because she is leaving far far away? or I truly want to marry her.


But I can not afford a house now, I want to get marry comfortably.


If we get marry now, it will detour my plans and I wont know what will become after marriage.


If I dont propose to her now, I am not sure if our LDR will last.....



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If you popped the question, would she still move away? Have you considered moving with her? I think it's a dangerous trap to fall into if you are asking because you think that it will save the relationship...I don't think proposing can do that. I think being committed to making it work and being willing to do an LDR will be what will determine whether it lasts. In fact, marriage can create bigger problems if things do not work out.

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I understand where you're coming from but I have to ask: if you dont believe your relationship is strong enough to stay the course during the LDR, how sure are you that the marriage would be any more successful?


Bottom line: you dont sound ready. And if you feel like you were pushed into making this decision, you may grow to resent her.


Try the LDR for now; if it doesnt work, maybe you guys can figure out another way to deal with the LD factor. For example, how plausible is it for you to move to where she is? Also, would she consider moving back, IF you tell her how hard the LDR is for you?

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