I still love him

[kfh_happy]

He left me for another woman after 6 years of marriage, with two kids and one on the way, no money and no where to live. Yet six months later, even though he is living with his new girlfriend, I still love him and want him back. Am I stupid? I dream about him, think about him constantly, I lust for him. My heart breaks every time I think of him with her. How do I get him back? Is it even possible? And why should I want him back? I am sooo confused.

[needafriend]

You can't help who you love! It sucks, but its true!

 

Now, people are going to tell you things like. "You are crazy!!", "Why would you want to be with someone who treated you like that?!!?" "Find someone else that will treat you better!" In part I do agree with these comments, but I know how it feels to love someone that you can't have. And you cant tell your heart what to do.

 

Is he happy with is new life?? If he his maybe you should be happy for him and love him from afar. Sometimes we want the ones we love, just to be happy, even if it isnt with us!

[Ash]

You're still in love. Of course it happens that way sometimes. Love can be eternal. That's just the way it is, and it can be a real tough thing to come to grips with.

 

Have there been any signs he wants to see you again? 6 months is a long time for him to be gone. Do you talk at all? It doesn't appear he left you in a good position, or at the proper time though.

 

Are you unable to let yourself feel for somebody else? If you do, it won't mean you don't feel for your possibly lost husband. I don't know if that helps at all. Sometimes we refuse to let go because we thing there's nothing better for us, or we simply refuse because there's a thread of hope. It's not easy to live that way, but nobody can really make you change if you don't want to.

 

Evaluate everything you know about him and your present situation. Try to decide if it's truly him you want, or whether you just want somebody in general. If it's him, you have to start by contacting him. Don't be different, or do unusual things to get him back though, you want him to come back to you, not to somebody else you try to be for him.

[BrandonBo]

this guy is a dick for doin this to you just forget bout him itll take awhile but u will eventually in the mean time try to find someone to fill the gap its gonna hurt fo awhile but its the way it is it sucks im sry for bad ppl like him but merry xmas and a happy new year feel better go to a party k

[tough_girl]

Well, though I haven't been in love before I've heard what it could do to people. I've read a few stories of wifes who have been dumped and I feel that you should reconsider a few things if you want to be with him again.

 

Think about how he treated you when he left you. If he really comes back to you, will you trust him anymore? Everytime he sleeps with you, will he be thinking about another girl? You might also question him about his fedelity again and again. You'll also be wondering everytime he says he has overtime , is he having a fling with someone else?What about your children? Will they be able to accept their father again? How would they feel about him if they're big enough to understand?

 

If you can't tolerate the above then I think you should just forget about him. Of course it doesn't happen overnight. Try to forget about him. I know that you might feel presured now but never take your pressure out on your innocent children. Think about them when you're making a choice that would affect them. They are your blood and flesh. They will forever be your children but sometimes your husband may not be forever your husband.

 

I hope this has helped.

[kfh_happy]

I guess the hardest part for me is that he can't say he doesn't love me anymore...just that it wouldn't work. In the six months that we have been living apart, we have been together twice. Both times, he was not seeing her or it caused a break up between them. And there has been plenty of communication, most of it negative in regards to him and the children. Maybe I am just looking to him because I am lonely and hurt and scared. Maybe I really do love him. The kind of true love that never really dies. But I don't think he will ever come back to me. And , honestly, I am not so sure I want him back. But I am unsure on how to move on. I have met a couple of guys, and well they didn't stay interested very long. Maybe I am destined to be alone. My heart is truley breaking seeing him with her. I want my husband back...but I am not enough of a woman to get him back, or keep him for that matter! This is a hopeless situation. I have tried to talk to him, plead with him, I have bought him gifts...tried to seduce him. Nothing works...Am I a fool?

[tough_girl]

Don't worry kfh. You'll be fine. As for your husband, I don't really think he's going back to you for nothing. Sometimes his girl friend might have threatened him and he feels scared of the uncertainties of his new relationship. He wants to have the best of two worlds and that is very selfish.

 

I can only say but can't do much and we all shall support you no matter what your decision. If you decide to take him in if he asks, then I hope you'll be happy. I trust that you're a very determined and level-headed woman and I'm sure that you can get through any situation that you're in. All that you need is time. Time can cure pain if you let it.I believe that you're a tough woman, good wife and great mother, just that you're ex-husband is too blind to see this in you. Don't convince yourself that its your lost, but its his lost.

 

If you intend to get on with your life, I have a few advises for you. I truly think that you should move on. First of all, get a job and improve your self-esteem if you don't already have one. Then you'll have a new circle of friends and you won't feel do depressed.

 

Moving on at first will seem painful. Yes, you might get depressed but not for long. You'll get better if you want to. As for the guys in your life, I admit that it's going to be hard to find a nice guy who'll love you for who you are and most will try to take advantage of you. If there is one that is going to take advantage of you, just ask them to get lost. They think that divorcees are easy to bully, so give them a piece of your and my mind!

 

That's the bad news but here's the good news. With these guys looking at you as if you're a rejected product, you are saved from what other young girls are going through with wrong-guys. You are DESTINED to find someone to share your life with. It will happen with time and if you allow yourself to let go of your ex and move on with your life. Love will ease the pain for you and your new lover if he's the true man of your life. It will happen one day with the Right-Guy who is prepared to give anything for you and your children.

 

However, in your search for a father for your children, do not be too desperate, as I told you, it will come with time. Make sure you do not neglect the needs of your innocent children who are not capable of fending for themself and relies on you.

 

I think that you should stop trying to get him back to your life. You damage your self-esteem everytime he rejects you. I know it makes you feel like a fool when he does, so stop it. He probably rejects you everytime so that he could damage your self-esteem and he is always triumphant because you allowed it. So stop letting him hurt you anymore. Everytime you see or think of him with his girlfriend, think of how he abandoned you at your condition. Think of his betrayal and how history will repeat itself and maybe one day he will betray his girlfriend.

 

If you really find it hard to get on with your life alone, find a close relative or friend. If you don't have one or if you want some extra support, I suggest that you join some of the women groups in your area or in the internet.

 

I hope this review has helped you in any way. I wish you good luck with your life and a very Happy New Year!

[kfh_happy]

Thank you , Tough girl....your support and understanding mean alot to me. I am working a new job, but sadly not giving it my all...I guess I need to focus on what I do have as opposed to what I have lost...I am trying. I am just so lost and lonely...not looking forward to the "happy" new year. I will keep writing and reading on here...you all really help. Thanks.

[tough_girl]

You're welcome for the advise. I just wanted to help you at your state. I felt awful too when a trusted friend of mine turned her back on me. I suffered depression but I'm okay right now.

 

You don't have to push yourself on your new job. Just take it easy if you can't cope and then eventually give it your all. Who knows if you might meet someone there?

 

I'm sorry to hear that you're not looking forward to the 'happy new year' but it's alright to feel this way. I'm looking forward to the new year because a new year means that we can leave our past behind us and start a new life or chapter of our life. Done is done but our future is still ours to decide before it's too late.

 

I can't celebrate my own new year this year because my granmother passed away on July and it's tradition not to celebrate our new year for 1 or 3 years. So, since you can celebrate your new year, I hope you will be as happy as you can be. Don't think of yourself as the weakest human in the world. If you're feeling so bad here, how do the children and people in Iraaq feels?

 

So, I do hope you'll stop feeling sorry for yourself and be a strong woman who will survive any situation you are in. I wish you good luck again and happy new year if you think I should.